Legal rights

Unmarried? Know your rights

It’s important to know where you and your baby’s father stand with SA’s Children’s Act, especially if you’re not married. You both have certain rights and obligations, and familiarising yourself with the basics could save you a great deal of trouble



On 1 July 2007, the new Children’s Act No. 38 of 2005 came into effect.

The point of the new Children’s Act is to improve and define the rights of children in line with our country’s Constitution. Part of what this legislation aims to do, is to define parental responsibilities and rights. 

When the legislation was being drafted, experts used as their framework something called “The Best Interests of the Child Standard.” This means that in all matters concerning the care, protection and wellbeing of a child, the child’s best interests is of paramount importance – more so than the rights of the parent.

In a nutshell

  1. A child, male or female, becomes a major upon reaching 18.
  2. The biological mother of a child has full parental responsibility of the child, whether she’s married or unmarried.
  3. The biological father of a child has full parental responsibility of the child if he’s married to the child’s mother or if he was married to the child’s mother at the time of the child’s conception, birth or any time between the child’s conception and birth.
  4. An unmarried biological father may ask a court of law to grant him full parental responsibilities if he:
  • at the time of the child’s birth, is living with the mother in a permanent life partnership, or
  • consents to be identified as the child’s father, or
  • successfully applies to be identified as the child’s father, or
  • pays damages in terms of Customary Law, or
  • contributes or has tried to contribute to the child’s maintenance and upbringing for a reasonable period.

What does this mean?

It doesn’t matter whether the parents are married and they conceive a child, or, whether they marry after conception and before the birth of a child: they’re both equally responsible for that child. Nothing has changed as regards the law concerning minor children.

Full parental responsibilities and rights

In legal terms, what does the phrase “full parental responsibilities and rights” actually mean and include?

  1. The responsibility and right to care for the child;
  2. To maintain contact with the child;
  3. To act as guardian of the child;
  4. To contribute to the maintenance of the child.

Fathers have more rights now

There are various other matters which a parent or guardian would have to administer, safeguard and consent to for the child.

Under the old dispensation, where parties were divorced, one parent (usually the mother) would usually be awarded custody of a minor child and the other parent (usually the father) would be entitled to visitation rights.

The custodian parent would be vested with making all of the day-to-day decisions of the minor child including which school the child would attend, what religion the child would practice, where the child would reside and so on.

This is now no longer the case.

The parents now have joint parental responsibilities and rights, and all major decisions relating to the minor child need to be taken by the parties jointly, which is a far healthier situation for the child.

And if my child is illegitimate?

When a child’s parents are not married, the mother remains the primary caregiver of the child and the father can apply for rights if he complies with one of the requirements mentioned above. Again, the natural father of a child born of unmarried parents still has to pay maintenance for a child under 18 years if age, whether he wants to or not.

What if the father won’t pay?

Importantly, the biological father is responsible for the payment of maintenance for the child, regardless of whether he chooses to apply for parental responsibility or not. If there is a dispute between the child’s parents about maintenance, the matter has to be dealt with by a family attorney, social worker, social services professional or other suitably qualified person.

This applies regardless of whether the child was born before or after the commencement of the new Act.

Some women find themselves in situations where they are involved in relationships, fall pregnant out of wedlock and then discover that their partners want nothing to do with them. They choose to have the child, and their partners attempt to avoid responsibility.

In situations like these, the mother is entitled to approach the maintenance court for the area she lives in to claim maintenance from the father of the child. The court will make an order for an appropriate amount. There are people at the court to assist the mother in completing the necessary documentation and serving the papers on the father to appear at court.

Once an order has been made for the payment of such maintenance, and the father fails to pay the maintenance, he could be sent to prison for failing to do so. When the father of an illegitimate or even a legitimate child is unable to pay maintenance for a child, the court may look to the grandparents of the minor child on the father’s side, to decide whether they are capable of paying maintenance for that child.

So let’s say there’s a situation where, for example, the father of a minor child is killed in an accident, and there are paternal grandparents who are financially able, the mother could ask the court to get the grandparents to give a good reason why they should not be ordered to pay maintenance for the minor child.

Do you have a cohabitation contract?

It is extremely important for women to know their rights. Not just in relation to children, but in relation to their rights generally.

For example, did you know that in South Africa there is no law governing cohabitation relationships? Therefore, in a situation where a couple who may have lived together for many years, when that relationship ends, there are no “common-law husband or wife” rights, as such.

Even if you lived in your boyfriend’s house for 15 years, and have several children together, if that relationship suddenly ends, you might find yourself without a home, unless there’s a contract in place.

You can approach any legal aid clinic or lawyer to help you draw up a simple document that gives you the same rights as a married woman, even if you’re not married. Do it for your peace of mind, and your children’s security.

Adam and Steve?

In South Africa, recently, in terms of the Civil Union Act which became effective on 1 December 2006, same-sex marriages are legally recognised. The laws that apply to children in heterosexual marriages also apply to children in same-sex marriages.

In a recent decision in South African courts, the Department of Home Affairs was ordered to register both parents in a same-sex marriage as the parents of a minor child, to enable a divorce to proceed and to ensure that the parental responsibilities and rights could be properly regulated.

Whose surname does the baby get?

If a child is born out of wedlock, the child will take the mother’s surname, unless the father of the child consents to having his surname being registered on the birth certificate.

If the parties are living together in a marriage-like relationship, then the parents may wish for the child to have the father’s surname.

However, if there is no such relationship then it would make sense for the child to have the mother’s surname to avoid confusion. It’s an entirely personal decision. If you gave your child the father’s surname, then later came to regret it and wished to change the child’s surname, you need the father’s permission, or the Department of Home Affairs will refuse.

You need permission to go overseas with the kids

When a child born in wedlock is taken out of the country, in the company of only one parent, it is necessary to have the written consent of the parent who stays behind. This becomes especially important in divorce cases, where the spouse who remains behind in South Africa may be concerned that the spouse who is travelling might be trying to kidnap the child.

If the child is born out of wedlock it depends on whether or not the father of the child has parental responsibilities and rights and, if so, then his written consent will also be required.

A will is extremely important

If you have children, the issues in a will which need to be dealt with are:

  • Who should be their guardians?
  • Who will be responsible for their education?
  • Who will be responsible for managing your financial affairs?
  • It is important to decide who to appoint as Trustees.
  • It is important to appoint as your Executor and Trustees people whom you know personally and not, for example, huge financial institutions.
  • If you die without a Will, then your Estate will be wound up as an intestate Estate and a person whom you do not know may be appointed to manage your affairs.

Outdated terminology

Courts used to use words like “custody” and “access” when they referred to children’s rights. The terms which are now used are “care” and “contact.”

A parent is now no longer a “custodian” but may provide the “primary place of residence” for a minor child, and have the “care” of the child.

Comments: please note

Dear parent, thanks so much for your comments and sharing your stories. Please note we don't have lawyers who can respond, either personally or online. If you need professional advice, you can find a list of family lawyers here: Please feel free to keep posting your comments – another parent in the same situation may be able to answer you or offer support. All the best.

Disclaimer: The advice on this site is for information purposes only. Please consult your health professional.

Add your comment

Comments - 381 comments


I separated from my husband about 7yrs ago but we are not yet divorced because it has been difficultto find him until recently. When we got married I took his surname but never changed my id. I've now been in a relationship with someone for three years and we are expecting a ba baby. Can my baby take her father's surname, my maiden surname or will she have to take my soon to be ex-husband's surname even though he's not the father
Posted on Wed, Jul 22nd 2015, 06:59


I have a problem my girlfriend is 20 and I am 19 . She still lives with her mother and is expecting. Her mother is against the relationship and we fear that she would keep me from seeing my child. I dont think that this is legal . What legal steps can I take to ensure that this will not happen?
Posted on Fri, Jun 26th 2015, 00:10


To Whom It May Concern: I have recently found out about the new law regarding the unabridged certificate for flying with minors. As I will be travelling soon I have applied for it. I would just please like some advice, I am a single parent to my 10 year old son, I have raised him solely by myself since he has born, have also had no support from the father nor do I want any. The father of my child has also never made any effort to be a part of my son’s life. My son is also bearing my surname and not that of the father whom i was never married to. I would just like to know would that be a problem with the process of the unabridged certificate and when I need to take my son with overseas? My son also has a passport bearing my surname on it. Any help or advice would be much appreciated. Kind Regards
Posted on Wed, Jun 17th 2015, 17:57

Mthokozisi Nkosi

Hi, What if my girlfriends threatens that i will never see my child if lets for example a mistake i made is repeated? Does she have the right not to let me see my child if we are not married and can she do that? Regards mthokozisi
Posted on Tue, Jun 9th 2015, 12:14


I realy need advice we no longer in a relationship with my ex we hve a bby his family disrespected me so I gt angry n took my child,I am nt working he dsnt wana bring my child's clothes n clinic card...wt should I do do I hve rights to stay wth my child evn whn am working?
Posted on Mon, Jun 8th 2015, 17:40


Hi. I am almost 8 months pregnant. I left the father of my unborn child when I was 2 months pregnant. I left him because he did not want to stop smoking weed. And had alot of other issues. I did it in a very gentle way. Then he swore at be and said sum realy mean stuff. I said nothing back. I havent heard from him since then. Do I HAVE TO let when know when she was/is born? And how does his weed smoking affect the visitation rights?
Posted on Sun, May 24th 2015, 22:27


Good day Please tell me can I claim maintenance from the father that's behind or just chose not to show up and I just found out he received his share of selling his flat ( according to his brother the will stated that he can only get his inheritance on age 25 or as his brother says is of drugs) but he has no contribution towards the child and an agreement was typed out for the second time which he carried on about seeing the child and is not even following the instructions on visitations (since 11 Feb. 2015 till now he has showed up 3 times where he has every Wednesday of the week for an hour at her day care) and she is born out of wedlock, on my surname, and he is not registered on the birth certificate.
Posted on Thu, May 14th 2015, 14:36


My son is now 8 months old, and after kicking me out when I was only only 6 months pregnant, my son's father has not contributed a cent, I have offered to give him visitation rights if he pays maintenance, but he flat out refuses. I want to take him to court, but I'm worried that if I do, he will have a hold over both my son and I, as I might have to ask him for permission every time I want to choose a school or go out of the country, and being that he and his family are extremely vindictive, they will try to make my life difficult in any way they possibly can. I don't know what to do...
Posted on Mon, May 4th 2015, 21:19


Hi. I have a one year old with my on & off boyfriend of six years, we had previously lived together for a period of about 3 years but the apartment was under my name. When we broke up I requested he move out along with his younger sister whom was supposed to be residing with us temporarily but ended being there permanently, the problem was his folks were too involved in the relationship and very controlling and he allowed it. their financial contribution was not even half of what I contributed for the household things and rent and even worse I was now sharing our bedroom with his sister whilst he used the other room (Which made no sense). He was too abusive both emotionally and physical. four months later after they moved out and we broke up we got back together and i fell pregnant immediately. We still lived apart and his family said they will only take acknowledgement of the child only after birth. So solely financed my own pregnancy and he helped only once with the doctors consultation when my medical aid ran out of funds. I had to prepare everything by myself with the help of my family for the birth of my child. Later during my pregnancy I discovered that he had been cheating on me and had his girlfriend over my place as I would leave him with my house keys whilst at work because he did / does not work. I went through a very hard time and had an emotional break down and started seeing a shrink, he became very emotional abusive and denied my child to his girlfriend. Still i forgave him because i wanted him to be part of my child's life. He was there at birth and his name also is listed on the baby's birth certificate but my baby is using my surname. His family has been making my life a living hell and now wants my child to use his surname. He still does not work and his family pays for his lifestyle and he does not pay maintenance for the baby, We always fight whenever i tell him of the baby's needs and tells me that he will only do what he can do whenever he can so i must stop bothering him. His family paid some lobola but have not finished but he feels so entitled to everything. he wants access to the child whenever it pleases him and i have never denied him a relationship with the child. We are in a very confusing relationship as we do not talk about our responsibilities towards the child. Whenever i mention this he sends my messages and records my conversations and sends to his parents. They control his life and now wants to do the same with how i raise my child. This man has got no idea what is the medical contribution for my baby, he does not care and acts like i deny him access to the baby which I don't. I am still breastfeeding and I have never given him the child to be with him alone, I do not trust him nor his family as they like using Muti and his mother HATES me. Whenever I am around them they treat me like I am nothing and almost refer to his sister as the most important person in my child's life, the treat my child like she is motherless whilst i am alive and very much capable of caring for her. This man is 30 years old and his parents do everything for him and he feels no sense of responsibility whatsoever. He keeps saying he has been applying for jobs but he is too picky as well. He has previous working experience in retail but refuses to go back saying he wants to spend more time with the child and retail will limit that. I work five days a week and now at a point of finding a weekend job. My shrink has previously advised me to be careful as this guy will do everything to look good and perfect in the public eye but he can do serious damage behind close doors. I mean on social media he posts like we are this happy family and he is the worlds best daddy. He really loves his child that I know and see, but he has no sense of responsibility and this is making my life difficult. I am a very responsible parent, I spend my weekends with my child and make sure that she is taken care of daily. I love this guy sadly but his mother is ruining my life on top of everything, she has told me before she can find her son a proper girl to marry as i am not enough. I don't know what to and feel very undermined, not just me but my family as well as culturally this people have no respect and yet act like they are perfect. He has lately threatened to change my child's surname and to take my child. Does he have the right? do grandparents have legal right to the child?
Posted on Mon, Mar 30th 2015, 10:48


I am married, seperated but my son is living with me, we live in south africa but i have applied for a job overeas. My husband does not want to sign or give me a written consent. Can i take him to court to get this done?
Posted on Thu, Mar 12th 2015, 09:42


I have a 7 month old son. His father has a job but i don't because i had to quit my job so he can work and i had to stay home and watch our son. I had two jobs before he made me quit them. Also, i am trying to move out and leave him because of issues. I want to take my son but he keeps threatening me about calling the cops because our sons name is on the lease and i don't have any rights to take him because i don't have a job. i need help so i can get away from this evil person. Please some advice.
Posted on Thu, Feb 26th 2015, 13:55

Talita Vorster

good day. I have a son that is 10 years old, i'm planning on moving in with my boyfriend, me and my son has been staying with my parents for 10 years, now my brother is threatning to take my son away from me as well as my mother, can they do that? i really need help with this one please!!!
Posted on Mon, Feb 9th 2015, 11:00


Hi. I have a fiance whom with I have a child and we live together. I have not had paternity test done as I take it in good faith the child is mine. We have been and lived together for 4 years. She does have a shady past. I have a paid off car in my name which I had prior to us getting together and we rent a house which is also in my name. I have a company car so therefore have let her use my private car as she has never been able to afford her own. I pay for all bills, groceries of the household and the up bringing of the child as I earn substantialy more than her. We have had a turbulent relationship and fight often. She always threatens to take the child away and has gone to a lawyer. She also has two more children from two other individual fathers. The younger one stays with us and the older with her mother. Neither father pays maintenance. I pay for the upbringing, school etc. She says that if we part ways I must leave my car with her for the child's transport to pre school and back and I must leave the house which I rent as the children shouldn't be uprooted. I must sign the rental agreement over to her. I must also pay for maintenance and school fees. She constantly uses the threat of leaving me if things don't go her way over the most minor thing which I consider to be emotional abuse as well as the fact that she verbally abuses me. If she is the one who wants to leave me. Considering the above, what are my rights. The yes and no of what she can and can't do? Besides the obvious upon paternity test that I would need to pay maintenance and upbringing of 'my' child. I love him and wouldn't like to actually go this root but need to know ow where I stand legal? Your opinion would be highly appreciated.
Posted on Sun, Feb 1st 2015, 23:30


hi, i was just wondering, i am living with my boyfriend and my 15 year old daughter, my boyfriend sees to all her needs eg. school fees and all else, i want my daughter to live with my boyfriend in the event i die, i dont want her to go live with her father as the environment is not good and he does not work, is this possible? or can she decide for herself with who she wants to live with? as we discussed it and she wants to live with my boyfriend, can this be done?
Posted on Tue, Nov 11th 2014, 14:26


I am seeking Legal advice here please. My son is the father of a baby boy. The mother was 16, and father 15 when she conceived. They are now both 18 but still scholars. What does the law say about who is responsible for supporting the maintenance payment for this baby now that the boy is 18 and no longer a minor. Can the mother still claim maintenance from me the grandmother to support the baby even though I am a single parent that does not even receive support from the boys father at all? I have been helping as much as I can, now I believe the other grandmother is sueing me for maintenance - can she do this or does the mother have to claim support, and if the mother does ask for support can the court enforce me to pay support even though he is a minor but still at school. Thank you
Posted on Mon, Aug 11th 2014, 23:30


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Posted on Fri, Jul 18th 2014, 00:25


I'm 37weeks pregnant and the father of my child has not done any effort at all from his side, we decided that to prepare for the baby we both are going to give 500 a month it's always a struggle to get the money and we always fight because he got a new gf that was the same time pregnant as me but it's not his child. He also went and put this child on his name and paying for this child but always have excuses to pay his biological child's money. What can I do to get him to put his child's needs first.
Posted on Wed, Jul 2nd 2014, 12:00


Hi, my 9 year old daughter lives with myself and my partner of 7 years... We have received no help from her mother all. My daughter came to live with me after her mother said she could no longer take care of her. I am unemployed, and my partner who has known my daughter since she was two years old has assisted me in taking care of my daughter. Giving my daughter the love and stability that every child needs. Now my daughter mother has now decided that she wants my daughter back and has made false allegations that I physically abused her when we were together. What do I do? These allegations she claim happened from the before my daughter was born and whilst we were together. She has accused me of hitting here that she had a miscarriage. What do I do as these are allegations are not true and how does this now affect my custody battle with her. Ive read a lot of stories on line and it seems that the law is for mothers even on false allegations like this. She put these allegations on an affidavit. Please help me and my daughter. Regards Brent.
Posted on Tue, Jun 17th 2014, 14:32


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Posted on Sat, Jun 14th 2014, 04:49


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Posted on Fri, Jun 13th 2014, 14:54


I've been in a relationship with this guy for a couple of months the he told me he has a girl friend in Jhb I was freak out and I didn't show and one day I asked for him for breakup even though I was crazy in love with him. And he told me that we cannot breakup because I feel like it and then we decided to try it again. He was busy applying for a job in Jhb and I was so supportive and praying for him to get the job because it was a good paying job as compared to the one he had in Cape Town. On the month when he was going to leave I find out that I am pregnant and I told him and we came to a decision of him supporting the baby and supporting me emotionally while I a pregnant from a distance. He left to Jhb and we started to have a communication problem, Remember I was busy playing a nice supportive woman when he was applying for work not knowing that the lady is not just a girl friend they are engaged so he was leaving Cape town to be with his wife and his 7 year old son. I was calling him almost everyday and because of my situation I needed support and there was no one to support me. I remember the time he told me not to just call him and the only thing that makes us to be us is the baby and she's not even yet born. I cried that day to my sleep and I asked God not to punish me like that if that's the punishment. He phoned me the other day telling me how he misses me and ask if I can show him my baby bump, he continued doing that until he started calling to ask if I am with someone in the middle of the night. I gave birth this year in January and I told him that I've just gave birth to an adorable baby girl and he didn't show any sign of interest. I remember asking him to help me with cash because at that time my medical aid was not active yet and I was broke tjo he insulted me and I even thought I'll give birth to a brain damaged child because I was stressing too much and crying every night. I told him that I was going to be on an unpaid leave so I might need his help, He gave me R500 in February and that was the last time he gave me money my maternity leave started on the day I gave birth because my estimated date was in early February. I left Cape Town to live with my mother in Jhb so that she can help with the baby and I told my so called boy friend that I am in JHB he can come to see the baby and he gave me a million excuses not to come. End of March he phoned saying that he is going to send money for the baby and I said ok and he never did. Two days after his phone call he sent me a text message saying he's getting married and I was so emotional damaged I had to leave the house at night and take a walk so that I do not affect my baby girl with this. In April I decided to go back to work because my saving were not going to be sufficient enough to take care of the baby until I resume work in May. When I was at work I sent him an email telling him that I am going to put him on maintenance, because he didn't pay the damages and now he is failing to support his own child. He told me that he doesn't owe me and I cannot just go on child maintenance and from that day on he started to act all nice because he didn't want me to do it let alone that no one in his family knows about his baby girl. Last month he gave me R1000 after all these other months not forgetting that he's always updating me about his weddings and I was not sure if he wanted me to commit suicide or what but it didn't happen. When I told him that my contract is expiring in July he told me I am a gold digger I like living on other people's pockets and everyday is like I am forcing him to like his child but he does not show any interest in her even if you can tell him she's sick. Now that he is failing to support the child I asked him to at least put the child on his medical aid and I'll take care of the rest and he told me at first that is not going to happen and I asked him again and he told me that he doesn't have a medical aid come on people I am not dumb you can not work for Jra and not have a medical aid when the know that your job is risky but then he always think he's smart and trust me he's not. He always preaching that he likes me how can he like me if he failing to love his own flesh and blood. I do want to put him in maintenance court because he is not taking his responsibilities serious and he is using my education as a stopper to put him in maintenance court and he is forgetting that my dad supported me even though he was not married to my mom and took me to varsity to be a better person.
Posted on Thu, Jun 12th 2014, 12:46


What if the father wants to pay the child support directly to the maintenance court instead of the the mother of the child, directly? Can this be done, and what do I do?
Posted on Thu, Jun 5th 2014, 09:23

zulfah davids

Help.. I have a 3 year old son. His father and I have not been together for about 2 years now. We were never married so our son has my surname on his birth certificate as well as passport. He makes no effort to visit and we are in a maintenance battle at the moment, he has not paid since last year and there is a warrant issued for his arrest. I am unemployed and struggling to find work here so am considering looking overseas. My question is do I still need his permission to leave the country?
Posted on Mon, Jun 2nd 2014, 20:31


Hi, I am a mother of a 5 month little girl. I moved down to lansing and moved in with the father. He wants to be there for her. However we got back together and 4 days later he hands me custody paper. He wants legal joint custody. I never saw it coming. It was crazy behavior. What do I Do? I am thinking about moving out however Im not sure whether I should.
Posted on Sat, May 31st 2014, 13:20


hi i need to find out instead of paying my childs mother directly can i rather pay his school directly so i know where my money is going to, please help
Posted on Fri, May 30th 2014, 11:41


help! my gf for 8 years decided to leave me and go on her ways , it has been 8 months today , before she left me we just moved in our first apartment together with our 1 year old son , we are not married but since i am a proud father my son is carrying my last name. so now i am stuck with a 1 year lease and have been paying rent on my own. It is so hard for me to pay the rent and support my son, my son is with my X's parents we are currently not in a good realtionship now because i was just recently pulled over for DUI , and they are holdin that against me , i havent seen my son for almost 2 months now i am undergoing to much stress , i feel like they are taking away my rights to see my son, my x is now living with her lesbian coworker and our son is living with her parents , i left her because i found out she fell in love with a lesbian my question is, if i decide to go to court what are the odds i can have some time to spend with my son
Posted on Sat, May 17th 2014, 22:49


I have been staying in my boyfriends house for about 4 years now,we have a child together who is a 1 year now.We have recently seperated but I am still staying with him.My decision was to go stay at my sisters home but he will not let me take the baby.I am currently unemployed so he is supporting his child at the moment.Evan if I have no job can I still take my child and he can carry on supporting her until I get a job.I am feeling now he will get all the rights over her and she will be staying with him because I cannot support her at the moment and the only place I can go is at my sister's home.
Posted on Tue, May 13th 2014, 09:02


Hi I am the grandparent. I would like to know what the situation is when the boyfriend ( ex fiance ) is not contributing to the finances of the child born out of wedlock. There have been no attempts to pay at all. Daughter is living in our home and unable to afford expensive lawyer and know the the dad will dispute being employed when we know he is earning. Thanks
Posted on Mon, May 12th 2014, 11:13


I trust you will be able to assist me ; I am staying with my boyfriend and he has a 9 year old daughter who has been staying with her Mother and GrandMa. Her Mom has another child from another boyfriend who is now 8months , apparently the little one now went to stay in Eastern Cape with the grandMa, and the 9year old left with her Mom; getting to the point her Mom doesn’t seem to care much she’s always busy and also working we came across that this child has an Eczema and she needs a proper care, up until now the eczema is not going anywhere he took him to the specialist and they told him she needs a proper care.... in terms of checking food allergies etc. He requested from her Mom to at least give him a chance to monitor and maybe stay with her and she refused. Her father (my boyfriend ) paid full fees at some school in Maitland and is been supporting monthly so we have noticed that every month she always requesting some extra money and some ointments so we again asked her if she can at least give us the child as she does everything by herself sometimes not even wash or eat as she’s alone in the house and she replied with rude messages and this morning we heard she send the child to Eastern by Taxi not informing us or anything. Now I want to know , what we should do as I know she can be rude at times and we really don’t want to deal with her a all. Is it possible to take the matter further because we’re now so worried that she won’t get a proper care in Eastern Cape and Eczema can be very dangerous as she can die there. And she might use the money we giving her monthly and still say we don’t give her support.
Posted on Fri, May 9th 2014, 11:38


I never signed over my rights to my son but he has been living with his father for a year now.before that he lived in my town with his dads mom and visited him often with no problem.but since he moved two hours away i never hear from himi send him money every month but cant even get a phone call from my son.what are my rights to him? I miss my son dearly please help me
Posted on Sun, Apr 27th 2014, 16:37


I had a daughter out of wedlock, the father only started paying maintenance about a year ago n she is going for 3years. My daughter is carrying my surname. I am getting married soon to another man.. What are my advantages regarding my daughter..
Posted on Tue, Apr 22nd 2014, 18:51


We are getting married.According to South African law can my partners ex-wife claim any maintenance from me? I have my own personal assets once we are married if it is COP,can she claim these or attach my goods should he not be able to pay maintenance?can I be held responsible in any way? After we are married should we purchase a house together can she have any claim if we are married COP?
Posted on Thu, Apr 10th 2014, 11:29


Good evening. My ex husband and I got back together along time ago, we got engaged again then I fell pregnant. It was planned as I went off the contraceptive. But we split up again soon after that before our daughter easier born. I did not put his details on the birth cert. She has my surname. We recently had a relationship to see if we could be a family but sadly it's not to be. He now wants a DNA test done. He will be sending a lawyers letter soon. I have no problem for my daughter to have the test done but can I insist that he be present, so that he can also have his test done in front of me. I don't trust him.
Posted on Tue, Apr 8th 2014, 19:10


My daughter is seven years old turning eight in July, she is doing grade 2 at school and her mother which is my ex-girlfriend is still denying me the access to be with my daughter and the matter was ordered by the high court for parental agreement. Now my ex-girlfriend have closed bank account for my child support and i was using it for monthly maintenance, please advise as I really miss my daughter is been months since I saw her.
Posted on Sun, Apr 6th 2014, 23:49

Jenny lins

What is my rights I have been married 32 years my husband had a affair produced a child which Is 3 years old I have 2 kids 21 and 23 what can his mistress get from us we have 2 joint properties
Posted on Sat, Apr 5th 2014, 14:09


I think it's unfair that a woman out of wedlock has no rights if she were to sepearte with her longstanding domestic partner (and father to her kids). I'm in a situation nw where I gave up my job to help my partners comapny grow, I handle all the admin and finace, I train staff and the staff reports to me. I basicall y run the comapny. I don't get a salary anymore, he just stopped paying me saying that we share money anyway because we have two kids together and we live together. Now I find out he is cheating and I can't leave. I have no money or job of my own to leave and find my own place for my kids and I. I just recently gave birth to our second child. I feel so alone, so helpless. I have to stay for my kids. No one can help me. Both my parents are dead. I just need someone to help me get a place and a job, and I will pay them back. But I'm stuck. I don't want to turn my kids life upside down. It would be easier if I could just get a job and find my own place.
Posted on Fri, Apr 4th 2014, 13:21


I am 35weeks pregnant, wanting to relocate with my child Overseas as soon as i can.I am no longer with the father of my child, we are not married and dont stay together. My child will also take my surname and not his fathers. His fathers name will be on the birth certifcate, does this make any difference? Do i need the fathers concent to leave the country? Please can i have some advise
Posted on Wed, Apr 2nd 2014, 11:35


g kosten cialis d0hec01a,
Posted on Thu, Mar 27th 2014, 09:04


my son is 2years old and me and his mother(ex girlfriend) we are no longer together and my son has been living with my ex girlfriend's mother since he was born, i only see him twice a year because he is living far from where i am staying and i am sending money every month for my son. i did not pay the damages because they it possible if, i take my son and live with him where i am staying? because me and his mother we are working at the same place but not living together,
Posted on Fri, Mar 21st 2014, 16:36


My boyfriend and I planned on moving to Cape Town with our son who is now 8 and half months old. My work has given me the transfer to start work there 1 April Unfortunately things haven't gone as plan and he has abused me where I had to then get a protection order in place, so we have broken up and he will not be moving to Cape Town with me anymore now he says that I will not take my some with me to Cape Town and that I would be kidnapping him if I do so. He does drugs and abuses Alchol around my son as he abuses me in front of him as well. If I do not move to Cape Town I will not have a job anymore I do not know what to do? Please advise!!!!
Posted on Thu, Mar 20th 2014, 19:34


I was with a girl and she told me she was pregnant but refused to take a pregnancy test and I wasn't allowed to go to the doctors visits and she said she was having twins but when she showed me a sonogram it only had one fetus in the picture so I asked to go to the doctors with her and after many times of asking she finally said yes but miscarried that night and she gave me the hospital paperwork saying she had a spontaneous miscarriage and after that we stopped talking but she is still telling people she is pregnant but avoiding me and the mother is telling me that she is not pregnant. is lying about having a miscarriage illegal when using false documents? if they are false. before she "miscarried" the mom said that before I found out she was pregnant that they where going to keep the baby and not tell me and not ask me for child support and to consider myself a sperm donor and that they where going to give the parental rights to her aunt who couldn't have kids or she might keep it. but if she does keep it or sign the baby over are they still able to come at me for child support? or what do I do? the mother of my ex who she lives with is not stable for kids and are going to court to lose custody of the 2 she already has and its a mess.
Posted on Wed, Mar 19th 2014, 03:14

Davida Conradie

I have a question. I was married for a short time and ia divorced now. I haven't changed my maiden name yet(to my married name). I am pregnant now, not my ex-husband's baby, and I am worried about whether I give my baby my maiden name or my bf's name, since I am not actually supposed to use my maiden name anymore, or what? I am confused...
Posted on Tue, Mar 18th 2014, 15:42


I have a wedlock child and his surname is the same as the dad only coz he told me that is the only way he will be able to have him on his medical aid. Now that we not together after years i want to hyphanate my surname to his. How do i do that?
Posted on Thu, Mar 13th 2014, 15:35

Ruze green

I hav a son who was born in 2005 out of wedlock his father neve paid maintenance up until recently when I started to claim maintenance when he received the maintenance order @ first the next thing he sent me was a protection order against me when we agree in court about maintenance I gave him permission to hav contact with my son I send him an sms that he can phone my son on a certain number nd not my number due to protection order ,then suddenly I received a call from a investigator about me bothering the father nd that he laid a charge against me claiming I'm bothering him so I gave my side of the story nd the case was closed no again he came nd suddenly he wants to claim parental rights I dnt know wht this man wants one stage his nt intrested in knowing abt the child nd then suddenly he wnts to fight for parental rights wht MST I do His wife is forcing him to these things nd I'm sick nd tired of all this nonsens we were never married
Posted on Wed, Mar 5th 2014, 01:34

Denise Cervantes

My son is having a baby with a girl who broke up with him 2 months after she found out she was she isnt telling him about her doctor appointments, what the gender of the baby is....does my son have any rights he wants to be a part of the baby's life I wanna know is there something we can do so he can be apart of her pregnancy?
Posted on Tue, Mar 4th 2014, 18:31


I am a victim of the circumstance i paid damages for all my kids but none of them has been called with my surname! now i suspect that this kids are not mine, i am being used to raised them. what is my rights on this issue?
Posted on Tue, Mar 4th 2014, 08:29


I am not married to my 2 month old sons father but I live with him and we are no longer able to work things out. If he tells me to get out of his house, I have 100% rights to take my son with me, and all his belongings that I bought of course, and move back to my mothers house? Because unwed mothers have legal full custody right? He and his family have tried to tell me that I am not allowed to take my son and leave and have constantly been threatening to call the police on me if I do. please help! I need to get out of this situation and take my son with me.
Posted on Tue, Mar 4th 2014, 02:46


Hi, my husband has been summonsed to court for maintanace because he told the mother of his child that he could no longer pay the amount that he was paying. Unfortunately the matter was not settled at the maintance officer and they are due to appear in court. She had an attorney present at the manitanance office but he did not.(only because we didn't know) anyways her attorney was very stroppy and told my husband that if we are married in cop then we are jointly responsible for maintance. However we hAve other two children too. We not trying to get of not paying but surely it has to be amount that we can afford not so? Then the other thing we not allowed to see the child for more than an hour an she always tells us when and where? What can we do?
Posted on Thu, Feb 27th 2014, 20:27

Eva Chua

Hi, I am a mother of two kids 8 and 11 yrs.old. They have their father's surname but we're not married. He left abroad for work when his youngest son was only 1 year old and no support until now it's been 8 years already and he doesn't contact his kids anymore. I'm getting married soon and take my kids with me to USA as soon as my K1 visa will be granted. Do I need a consent/signature from their father so my kids can travel with me? i don't have any idea where he at now or where he lives since we never communicate. I hope I can get a response from you guys. Thank you!
Posted on Sun, Feb 23rd 2014, 00:26


i ahve a 7 year old born out of wedlock, the father pays maintenance through a court order and refuses to see the child . The child is now asking questions about her father which i cannot answer. Is there a law in SA which compels either parent to visit their child periodically even if they do not want to?
Posted on Tue, Feb 11th 2014, 10:53


I would like some advise as my son is almost 8 yrs old and his biological father left the country when he was 3. my son has his biological dads surname. He has made no contact and has not supported my son. I am in a relationship where i will be getting married and the man we live with would like to adopt my son. He calls my partner dad and is all he knows. What are the steps forward as we would like to imagrate overseas but know we will encounter difficulties. Your assistance and advise will be greatly appreciated
Posted on Mon, Feb 10th 2014, 13:30

ryan stumpf

i have never seen my child the mother took off on me befour she had the baby and I would like it see if its my child and get to no her what do I do ?
Posted on Fri, Feb 7th 2014, 01:06


I have a 3yr old daughter. Her father lives 15 minutes away and has no contact with her. He visits once in 2 - 3 months for 15minutes max and that's after several calls to him. He does not and has never contributed to her wellbeing. He is now married and works under government. But when I ask him to help with fees or clothes, he says he only works there part-time and does not have cash - which I think is a lie. Or promises for month end, then turns his phone off for days closer to the time and after month end. His wife works, but his parents don't. Can I still take him to maintenance court?
Posted on Thu, Feb 6th 2014, 16:59

Judith Carr

My grand-daughter, Jessel, age 26, had a baby, Chloe, with a man, Jimmy, age 21 from whom she is now separated. They lived together for the last three months of her pregnancy and for about three months after the birth. My granddaughter is a Filipino as is her mother, Nene, who is married to my son, Peter. My son works abroad a lot and Jessel wants to take Chloe with her mother to KL to live until May when she will return to England. Jimmy says she cannot take his child out of the country. He is named as the father on the birth certificate. What should she do? [Chloe has no passport as yet because Jimmy refuses access to his passport]
Posted on Thu, Feb 6th 2014, 13:02


Me and the mother of my son are no longer together, our child is 20 months old, we do not have any official agreement regarding custody or visitation, our son lives with her and I visit everyday, that being said, she has been dating a man for 6 months now, he moved in and began living with her and my son within a week of them dating, she has had this guy go alone to pick our son up and drop him off at day care several times and do other things like change and bath him, she allows the three of them to share a bed when the child has trouble sleeping in his own, on top of all that she also doesn't seem to find anything morally wrong with the entire situation, so my question is, does anyone else see what is wrong with this and is there anything I can do to stop it?
Posted on Tue, Feb 4th 2014, 13:40

Lucinda Malan

would I get maintenance if the father has decided to not have any communication with the child, he has moved, I do not know where he stays, he changed jobs and has changed his cell phone number, I do not have his ID number, am I going to be wasting my time to go to the maintenance court?
Posted on Wed, Jan 29th 2014, 12:11


wil i get maintenace if my baby is still a student but his parents are the once who have beeb taking care of the child but its like we forcing him and his parents to look after the child,cause sometimes the child would sleep without milk and pampers and when i ask them they reply would be they forgot,i mean who forgets to buy a child milk and its been happening alot last year,we asked if they could atleast pay half of the nanny money they refused,they buy her two pair of winter clothes and two pair of summer clothes,i know my baby daddy is not working but his parents can afford to atleast meet us half way with the nanny money
Posted on Fri, Jan 24th 2014, 13:35


Hi, My ex girlfriend has contacted me out of the blue saying she had our child and he is now over a year old except I don't believe her. She has been wanting to get in touch with me for a couple of months now but I had moved on. I suspect this is a tactic used to get me to contact her. I have asked for a photo of a birth certificate and now she has gone quiet. I'm not sure exactly where she lives nor do I want to divulge where I live to her because I feel this us what she wants. Is there any way I can find out from an external source if I am a father or not without giving up my address etc? Thanks
Posted on Thu, Jan 23rd 2014, 23:19


I am 23 and a single mother of twins. There dad is on the birth certificate. After my twins got discharged from the hospital there dad got arrested for violation of probation that was his second time in 2013 and I would have to beg him to come see them and wouldn't after he went to jail the second time his mom kicked me and my twins out we had no where to go so I went to the jail and asked him if we could leave state he said yes so we did I have been living here now for almost 6 months my twins are 11 months he has seen them maybe a total of 4 times but now he wants to haverights of them who would the courts favor me or tthere dad I have been taking care of them alone since they were born help?
Posted on Wed, Jan 22nd 2014, 04:01


i just found out 3 and 1/2 years later that I am a father. I know I have to pay maintenance but my ex who is who is married and getting divorced from her husband wants to claim food , rent , petrol etc from me ? am I not solely responsible for the childs needs not her. I don't feel like I should pay for everything in full like school fees and extra ballet lessons she should contribute as well. she was used to living a certain way of life with her husband I have never lived with her how can she put everything on my shoulders now? must she claim maintenance from her husband for her living expenses?
Posted on Tue, Jan 21st 2014, 10:36

miss kay

hi my boyfriend and i have been together for 5 years and we have a 15 mont old baby girl who resides with me and has my last name but the father of my baby wants the child to have his surname, i dont have a problem with that, but my boyfriend refuses to go with me to the home affairs he refuses to understand that there is a document that he has to fill and sign. he thinks i am just gonna go to the home affairs and just wright his name down. i think he is just being stupidly stubborn.
Posted on Wed, Jan 15th 2014, 12:20


hi please i need your help. i'm 27 now and the father is 32 my daughter is 2 years old. i moved in with her father when she was 3 months old. our relationship was rocky from the day i moved in with him and his parents. i decided to leave and moved into my own place with my daughter and 6 year old son. i never once kept Micah away from her father when she asked for him i would go drop her or call him to come get her. most of the time he didn't come because he would be out in a bar or just drunk. nevertheless i would still when he was sober i would let him take her. i have to mention though he is still attached to his mothers umbilical cord. and his parents rule his life which he actually prefers. he came to fetch her yesterday to sleep over. and when i called to let him know im fetching her. he told me the lawyer said i'm not allowed to take her, only visit. he said his mom has gone to a lawyer and that is what he said she must do. his mother became violent towards me a couple of weeks when i went to fetch our daughter. i want my daughter to have all of us in her life without any fighting regardless how we feel about each other. for Micah's sake. i never had a father nor does my son's father want anything to do with my son. that is not what i want Micah to go through. she has father and a mother, brother who loves her dearly + her grandparents. what can i do to stop this fighting and allow all of us to play that important and essential part in her life. pls help me???????? i'm desperate
Posted on Mon, Jan 13th 2014, 22:23


I'm a 35 year old mom my baby's dad now is 19 years old We had a daughter together and h never not once in the 2 years we were together did he pay no money for a thing I supported him. I moved out of state with our daughter and he agreed he was suppose to come live with us on Christmas. Well for my surprise he didn't and he said his not He no has a job and he don't want to hel out with support for baby. If I go to court will I get in trouble because of the age difference?
Posted on Sun, Jan 12th 2014, 23:32


Hi I'm a very concerned unmarried father who was engaged to the mother of my planned first and (only) child/daughter, shes 3 yrs old and she loves her daddy when her mom isn't on a spiteful,hateful rage, shes kept my kid months from me before..Whats worse is she left me a couple weeks after having our daughter utterly changed...3 months later she pregnant with another guy,then they broke up and after 3 months of not getting to hold my little girl she finally calls me to come and watch her only because she didn't have a sitter and i was bless,then she had her son and at this point she had me watching both kids going out for family like events (but never dating or was together) i didn't care though i felt like i had my family back well after the boys turns 1 and gets to calling me dad ,she founf a boyfriend and shoved me out of both life's again,tearing me apart again,ever since that we been arguing and (i seem to always be in the wrong).. So she uses noelle our daughter to get back at me like a tool of destruction(thaqt cant be good for the kid).. Ok here's the tricky and sad part for me..I'm disabled and unable to work 'i draw a ssi) but she new that when she first got with me now she calls me a bum and a worthless father even though i was the only one there helping out with both kids,and paying child support + an extra 50$ ever time,and i starve but i don't mind that , but I'm at ropes end, i can't afford lawyers, do i have any rights?I'm mean it i cant take no more I've contemplated suicide , then I'd tell my self that little girl would miss me to death i couldn 't do it to her,then i think we never getta see each other any more,and i just lost my dad october and these holiday were terrible without them,I understand there's more dead beat dads that don't want there kids but what rights do us poor losers who just wanna be a daddy to their kid?im in iowa and my friend said i can go take her out of daycare and the cops wont do anything about it, they say its a civil matter, but even then yeah noelle would love to go home with daddy but after a week she would wanna go home to her mom i aint got it in my heart to do that to my child she might , but not me,this woman is the devil her self i told her how i found out i may only have 5 years lift to live and she never even got back to me, didn't rwply to my message this is killing my poor mother too..but there so any articles like this to help the mother find her right i feel like i'm doomed.
Posted on Thu, Jan 9th 2014, 11:55


I have a six year old son nd my boyfriend has a problem with me being in contact with my sons dad
Posted on Sun, Jan 5th 2014, 12:32


Hallo I wonder if someone might be able to help me my sons mom and I have decided that its beter for my son to live with me this was not done through a court it was a agreement between us but I have a garnishee order that she cant/wont stop now I want to know is there a way that I can stop it is payed over to a legal firm
Posted on Tue, Dec 31st 2013, 11:42


Hi I really need help my fiance left me yesterday took my car and my 1 year old son away to her parents in lydenburg mp.I have a video of where she is by her step dad them and they giving my son beer out a beer bottle.her brother lives there to he used drugs and was locked up for drunk can I get my son back.they also said if I want to see him I have to come there.but I don't have transport and scared of being threatend.plz I need help asap
Posted on Sun, Dec 29th 2013, 07:29

Lydia White

My boyfriend who is separated from his wife wants to get custody of his children they have joint custody he pays child support he even pays for his ec to have insurane she doesnt live in the same state. She never lets his family see the children and when he trys to call them its hard to grt an answer . He believes that the children might not be his because she was unfaithful in there marriage I domt know how to help hik deal with this situation
Posted on Thu, Dec 26th 2013, 14:33


lm 37years old my son his 2y old we've been leaving 2gether for 14th month & we have a fight over a fone she was deleting some of my son pictures in my fone & when l ask what she doing she slept me acussing me of an failthful 2 her it was thusday night when l come back from work sataday she was gone.& she does'nt give me an adress or where my son is l cant even to send him money she refuse to give me a bank account &she say the is no shoprite near been 3weeks now
Posted on Tue, Dec 24th 2013, 23:10


Hi iam a 25 years old lady ,i have a 9 months old baby boy from a 34 years old Lawyer.He denied the pregnancy after 3 months of the baby birth we took a Partenity test with him and the baby its came positive,but still he doesnt want to support the child,he never met with him after the partenity test ,i always ask him to come meet with his Son but he wont respond,he still deny that the baby is his even after the partenity test im not sure what to do now pls help,i told him i wont take him to court coz he know the Law as he is a lawyer tired to cry everyday,he is abusing me emotional and im drained now,i love my Son and i want my son to have the relationship with his daddy thats what i want
Posted on Tue, Dec 17th 2013, 10:06


So i am a 22 year old mother of two. My kids father and i had never been married and we broke up a long time ago. I recently decided with my current boyfriend we want to get married next year and move over to the uk with him. My kids father is not apart of their life at all. Will i still need his consent? Because i believe he would spitefully refuse. He is only on our youngest birth certificatr.
Posted on Mon, Dec 16th 2013, 02:08


My fiance paid lobola for me in 2007, now he seems not interested anymore bcs she cheat on me every chance he get, I want to know what are my rights bcs I feel he wasted my time with his lies, pls help, desparate
Posted on Fri, Dec 13th 2013, 17:58


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Posted on Thu, Dec 12th 2013, 07:07


I'm a 19 year old daughter and have a 1year 3month i'm attending school and we are having financial problem at home do i qualify to claim my father for child support grand because he never supported me from my childhood and he left my mom when i was in grade 1.
Posted on Mon, Dec 9th 2013, 04:57


I'm not married to my child's father and dated for almost 3 years. When my child was born everything changed. Yes all my attention went to the baby but his father didn't give him the attention he needed. I always had to ask him to come and visit or help me. We started to fight a lot and then he left me and said its over. I don't want to fight over my child with him but now all of a sudden does he want to see his child. I said he must pay a 1000 rand to see his child and he say its to much, but I'm taking care of my child on my own for 7months now,al he is buying is milk and its 122 rand. For what must he pay now that we are not together any more and how much?
Posted on Sat, Dec 7th 2013, 12:26


my son who just turned 19 is expecting his son in March. His girlfriend who lived with us until last week went to visit her family is now saying she is not coming back and i'm just trying to get answers on what can we do to get the baby equally. When she has a child she doesn't have custody of and we are settled here working and have a house so we can't just up and leave. Besides Baltimore is not the safest place for a male now a days. what should we do to establish our rights are equal to the mothers
Posted on Sun, Dec 1st 2013, 23:44


My daughter is 13 and I dont get to see even though i have paid lawyers etc to fight for her. I pay my maintenance on time every month and yesterday I got a summons because she hasnt paid school fees in 3 years and now I owe them over 20k! this is the first I had even heard about this, she never asked me for help or informed me. I dont understand why I am being taken down and she told them that I said i would pay the fees which I never did, what do I do now? I dont want her to get away with this, i find it extremely unfair! Has anyone heard of anything similar?
Posted on Wed, Nov 27th 2013, 08:19


Hey. So My sons Father and I are not married, but did live together as if we were while I was pregnant and for about a year after having him. He is on his birth certificate, and knows he is his. We split up and he kicked me out. I have been staying with my mom for now but am having problems bringing myself to child support him. He will buy a pack of diapers or wipes everynow n then but its not enough. And ive tried to let him see his son on the weekends when hes off work but has tried to keep him from me a few times. Not telling me where he is and threatening to either run away with him or worse. I cant get a job because I have NOBODY to help watch my child for me to and I cant afford Daycare. I dont know what to do...Also he has been abusive to me in front of our child. I need some advice or motivation to step up and do something before he actually does take him away somehow. Im afraid Because we both have DUIs but mine was bc of his actions. & I actually wasent deiving I was sittin in my car charging my cell to have someone come get me.I do blame myself but I was running away from him. He wouldnt help me get a lawyer n now im on probation where 3 months after I got mine he WAS SUPPOSED to have our child thank god he didnt but left a bar drunk n hit someone head on n hired himself a lawyer n got off scotch clean. I know WHAT I need to do, I think. I just dont know how to go abt starting it....
Posted on Mon, Nov 25th 2013, 17:47


HI. My son ex girlfriend is about to have his baby. He wants to help with it and see it, but his ex says she doesn't want anything to do with him and doesn't want his to see the baby. What can he do? does he have any rights at all?
Posted on Fri, Nov 22nd 2013, 02:45


I am a concerned Granny, very frightened at the moment for the well being of my 6 month old Grandson. My son and his girlfriend broke up before baby was born, but we ensured that we were there for her and baby through it all, i.e. baby shower, hospital bills, etc. We knew that this girl was slightly unstable from day one. She used to be a friend of my daughters years ago when they were younger and already then I warned my daughter that I do not want her around this type of girl, clubs, bars and drinking, drugs before she was fourteen, one day she came to visit my daughter and that’s when her and my son met. She is 22 years old and my grandson is her 3rd baby already. There is constant violence, drinking, drugs in her life, my son has also had a rough past and has paid his price for that. The fact that there are drugs involved is the reason my son ran for the hills, not making excuses for him, but he cannot be around that. He has worked very hard to better his life. I am not trying to make him sound innocent because he is no angel, but he is a very good father and tries very hard to do what he can for his son. My grandson’s present living conditions are what brought me to this. There is no electricity on the property they are currently residing at, she lives in the back cottage with her previous boyfriend (the father of the first 2 little ones) and her mother. They cook outside on a gas braai. My biggest concern is cleanliness, babies bottles etc. Two weeks ago her mother phoned me early in the morning hysterically crying that she cannot take this nonsense anymore, that her daughter and the boyfriend are physically fighting and have broken her house up, could I please come to her after work to fetch baby because things cannot go on like this. During the course of the day she sent me an sms saying I must not come after work as she has managed to sort the problem out. I was in a state the whole day, but still decided to go anyway, because I wanted to see with my own eyes what has been going on. They got such a fright when I walked through the back gate, my grandsons mothers arm were all bandaged up because she tried to kill herself. I know this is true because she did this with my son one day, he was trying to get baby and her little daughter out of the flat because she was drunk and violent and she physically attacked my son from behind with a beer bottle, when he defended himself because he had both babies in his arms she preceded to break the beer bottle and slash her arms. I could probably go on and on but suddenly feel helpless. I am frightened to take this course as I have never had to do this type of thing before, but if I don’t do something and something happens to those innocent children I will never ever forgive myself. My son pays her maintenance every month, has baby on his medical aid and we get him every 2nd weekend which still costs my son because we have to buy our own nappies and milk as she refuses to send anything with him. I don’t have a problem with that we do that with pleasure. We had to swop weekends with her this past weekend as we had our work function and she got so hysterical about that and then started bringing up my sons past and threatening us, that we will never ever see baby again because we do nothing for her and baby. I am literally at my wits end and my son is broken and devastated, he said he cannot fight with her anymore, he just wants what is best for baby. I am in desperate need of advice, please could you help me. My son is no angel and yes he has a past, and has paid an expensive price for what he did when he was young, but that should not stop him from being the best daddy he can be. Baby is registered on my sons name.
Posted on Wed, Nov 20th 2013, 11:18


Hi - Me and my daughter's(7years old) father has been seperated to more then 3years now, he never payed maintenance ever since she's been born, just bought nappies and milk when I've asked him to. Now out of the blue, he wants her and wants to come fetch her weekends without paying anything, not that I want the money, but of course it will come in handy. What must I do to get visiting rights for him cause he does not respect the days I give him, he wants to come fetch her tonight with or without my permission and with a fight? please help!
Posted on Fri, Nov 15th 2013, 10:06


Can a foreign national being a father to a south African citizen been deported by south Africa immigration and or to seprated the father form the child?
Posted on Wed, Nov 13th 2013, 11:07


I just want to know about, what if my friend has inherited a house from her mother in a will, and now that she has pass on and has no will of her own,her hubby is living in the house with his son from previous marriage,as she and their daughter has been staying with their son at his home due to a argument with him for the past 7 months ,until she died. she has a car which is in her name that her mother gave her as well, the house is full of antique furniture when inherited it. The only things that he bought while been married was, the bed and frigde, a lounge suite he received from a friend and that is all. What will happen now,Please. thank you.
Posted on Tue, Nov 12th 2013, 11:42


When I met my husband he was divorce and so was I,he has Two children with another woman during his first marraige.the mother of These two children never wanted maintenance for the children instead she just Wanted him to come and visit the children but,as the years went by and the children grew Up they started asking questions whether they have any other siblings and their mother did Not know what to tell them but they found out their father was married at the time they were conceived. The children then met their sister from his married wife and the situation got out of hand the the iligitemate Childrens mother then only went to maintenance court,my husband is since then paying maintenance with my help As the second wife and we visit them which he could never do or even discuss these children with his ex wife as she wanted Nothing to do with them.the eldest child is now 22yrs old but still receives the child maintenance,she is done with school and college, When do he stop paying maintenance and how do we go about it.
Posted on Sun, Oct 20th 2013, 21:48


Hi – I am in a dysfunctional relationship with me ex whom is using my daughter as a tool to use me for my home and money in a nutshell. The two of us had a daughter and were cohabiting. Due to the relationship not going well I opted to leave after several years. I had my place and she had hers and I always paid my dues and was always there for my daughter in terms of being a loving providing father. Unfortunately she lost her job and had nowhere else to go including family as she has only a mum and sister whom were not in a position to take here in and are still not able to till now. The lady lives with me in lieu of me trying to make a home for our daughter although we are not together. There is constant bickering, verbal abuse, physical abuse and to be honest she is not a full box of chocolates. Including fights were the police have to be called out, constant insults towards my family and just no regard to trying to be amicable to live in a house where I can make a home for my daughter. I did suggest that we go for counselling and for the sake of my daughter and us to try make the relationship work again. This did not happen and we have not been together in that sense. The problem is, that I want to move on with my life and do not want to live a life of misery caused by her as she does not want to move on. she has found work since and I have offered her a very reasonable amount for maintenance, she however won’t budge and seems to be in a comfort zone. I have not met anybody new as it will be too complicated for a new relationship to blossom besides that my child comes first and I cannot be entertaining women in my home with my daughter and ex living with me. She however has started flirting/dating, I am not sure which one, with other guys whilst she is still in my home. I have decided this morning to get a protection order against her and have taken my house keys due to this. Now she is claiming that she will have me removed from my own home and that I must move out, can she do this? And does the law allow this? She also went to go get a protection order against me ironically whilst I was there. What are my rights and can she do this? My child’s interest is at heart and all I want to do is move on and not be tied down by her due to having a child with her which she always uses to her advantage.
Posted on Fri, Oct 18th 2013, 12:52


Hi im having truble to get maintenance from my ex he is un employed and I suied the grand perents but now the grand mother is also unemployed and the grand father is paying all the expenses how would i get child seport out of them I only asked for R3500 and they only want to pay R 500 how am i sepous to manage with that Can I keep them from seeing her intill they pay ???? Please help
Posted on Fri, Oct 18th 2013, 10:01


Hi There Trust you are well. I came across your website and i need advice regarding the below query that I have. Here goes: I am married (Islamically) but not legally. I do not live with my partner reason being is I fell pregnant before marriage therefore just got married Islamically. He lives in Johannesburg and I in Durban. There have been plenty of issues whilst i was preg and even now regarding my 8 month old son. One of the issues was: There was/is another woman involved and we kept getting threats that if i move up to jhb with my son they will murder the baby and I and that i must stay away from my "husband". we had calls 3 times. He lived with her whist i was pregnant even proposed to her and i kne nothing! The most he contributes towards my son is R200 for a tin of nan ..that is if im lucky and only if i ask Once he did the buying in July which came to R700 (I'L give him some credit for that). I see to all my sons medical bills, needs and clothing and dont ask his father for any assistance (In my opinion he knows he has a son he should contribute towards him whether i ask him for money or not) at times i do get assistance from my parents only if im stuck for cash. Now the father of my son wants a divorce , reason being because i do not want to move in with him in jhb (obviously cannot trust someone who cant contribute towards his son) he wants "joint custody" and I do not want to give him that right. I did tell him i will give him visitation rights to see my baby as i do not trust him with my son and am scared incase he takes my baby away! He always says hurtful things to me and i retaliate by being just as nasty. He says im a useless mother, im his mother only in name sake, i depend on my parents etc. He is worse when he drinks and when i was 2 months preg he punched me n punched my stomach twice..i know he was not happy with me being preg cos he was seeing the other woman at the time. When i finally got hold of her number she told me she was living with him and never knew he was still seeing me and he proposed to her and even asked her to have a baby with him. He only calls to find out about my baby when it suits him, and only when he is in Durban he shows people what a "wonderful dad" he is... In a case like this what do I do? Will the court allow him to have Joint Custody of my son. Please advise I would really appreciate it. Thank you
Posted on Thu, Oct 17th 2013, 13:05


My child's father denied that it was his child (who even looks 100% like him) and was ordered to pay for the paternity test. He had not paid the fee (R1600) when we went for the paternity test (10 October 2013) and 'luckily' for him, the doctor never pitched so they just gave us another court date (21 November). what i want to know is, what will happen if he still has not paid the fee? are they going to give us another court date? im so tired of going to the courts it will be my 6th time in November and still nothing is happening. please offer advice as well
Posted on Thu, Oct 17th 2013, 09:31


Hi I am a single mom of a 3year old boy. He has his dad's surname and i wish to change it but he won't consent. We were together for 5 years and he decided to move on now. I thought we were getting married. He has only ever supported us when he felt he had something extra and was never comitted. When I found out abpout his person he was seeing i got sad, hurt and quite angry and physically abusive to him, will this impact on my case in wanting to only allow him supervised visitation rights? Also his lifestyle is very unstable and i feel allowing him unsupervised access might be negative for my son. He drinks excessively and always is around his friendsm, who have at times given each others children alcohol as well as dog food. (Which is why i do not trust him with supervising my son) I feel so confused and helpless.
Posted on Wed, Oct 16th 2013, 10:07


Hi I am currently pregnant and single. The father of the child keeps threatening to take the child once its born. Is he able to do this??
Posted on Sat, Oct 5th 2013, 11:20


Hi hope all is well and that you can help me My little girl is 3 now , and me and the father separated when she was only one year and 2moths +- I left him because he could never support me or my child never stayed in a job for longer then 3 moths He has never contributed anything in the time we were together or separated, he has seen the child twice after we were separated she was 1 year and 3 moths and within 10min he would yell or complain or start fighting, he use to hit her that she would Throw up couz he could not handle her crying he was mentally abusing us to the max, that’s why I had to leave, like I was saying she is 3 now and I need to know what rights does he have , my child does not know who he is and my finance have been there and she believes he is her dad, I am just scared the ex comes and tries to take her or even see her it’s a fear I live with every day, like a dark cloud hanging over my head every day L, he is not able of having a child , and its like sending my child to a man she does not know , and I don’t believe its right , I have a good job and between me and finance we are more then able of looking after her and I don’t need his or anyone’s support at all
Posted on Wed, Oct 2nd 2013, 13:10


Hi hope all is well and that you can help me My little girl is 3 now , and me and the father separated when she was only one year and 2moths +- I left him because he could never support me or my child never staid and a job for longer then 3 moths He has never contributed anything in the time we were together or separated , he has seen the child 2 after we separated she was 1 year and 3 moths and within 10min he would yell and her or start fighting, he use to hit her that she would Throw up he was mentally abusing us to the max, that’s why I have left , like I was saying she is 3 now and I need to know what rights does he have , my child does not know who he is and my finance has been there and she believes he is her dad, I am just scared he comes and tries to take her or even see her it’s a fear, like a dark could having over my head every day , he is not cable of having a child , and its like sending my child to a man she does not know , and I don’t believe its right , I have a good job and between me and finance we are more then able of looking after her and I don’t need his or anyone’s support at all
Posted on Wed, Oct 2nd 2013, 12:41


I am pregnant with an unmarried man who has been in a committed relationship for ten years with his woman. We have had our disputes which ended up in me getting a protection order against him. He emotionally abused me and has attempted to cause me a miscarriage and blamed me for straining "our" baby even though it was him stressing me out. Anyway, I got hospitalized after we had a really bad fight where he didn't even come to see me at the hospital. My question is...I know he doesn't wantthis pregnancy, even though he's putting a front that he does. He's claimed he wants to support me and be there for my child all the time but I'm scared that he might do something to my baby, I don't trust this man. How do I fight and prove to the court that he's constantly planning something evil for this child? I wana have full custody and I don't care whether he pays for maintainence or not. I just don't want anything to do with him.
Posted on Sun, Sep 29th 2013, 07:12


The above article states that, An unmarried biological father may ask a court of law to grant him full parental responsibilities if he had paid the damages according to the Customary Law. Does this mean that by allowing him to pay damages, i grant him permission to take the baby away from me?
Posted on Fri, Sep 20th 2013, 19:00


Wow thank you so much for this insert it will definatly help me after birth as I am due in february 2014 and the father has gone AWOL. Thank you
Posted on Fri, Sep 20th 2013, 17:13


Hi Guys, I have an 8 year old child, me and the mother are no longer together its been over four years now. We lived together till she left. I'm in Jhb, she lived in Cpt till recently she moved back home with her parents in North West, whom having been staying with my son over the years. For years now i'm not allowed to have my son to visit me and my family in Jhb for Holidays (let alone a week/weekend holiday) the reasons vary from the mother and the grandparents, i.e i dont call enough, i haven't paid lobola or i dont visit the child enough. i cant just take a child to unfamiliar place etc etc Now how does one deal with this and where do i start?
Posted on Wed, Sep 18th 2013, 13:01


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Posted on Mon, Sep 16th 2013, 10:32


What a surprising result that i have just result this week after all i have been through with my husband trying to get a baby of our own and i tried about three different spell caster and i did not see any changes in my body nor a good result. But last week a friend of my told me about Dr gboco from the and how powerful he is but i told her about the rest that i have work with and there was no result i chosen to give him a trier which i did and after one week i stop seeing my period and i notice that i was already pregnant so i call him immediately and he told me that the spell has taking effect already i did a test to confirm and now i am so happy that i am 6months pregnant and soon i will have my own baby i give all thanks to you Dr Gboco
Posted on Mon, Jul 29th 2013, 13:28


Last three weeks ago i lost my job and i started seeking for another good job and i have been to many interview but i was not giving a job so one day i saw a testimony on the internet on how Ekaka help someone to get a good job so i have to contact him on his email: and he told me what i need to do and after 2days all the place i have attended interview they all started calling me and i was confuse because i do not know the right one so i have to call Dr. Ekaka again to know the right place i need to work so he told me how i am going to know the right one which i did and now i am the happiest person on earth.
Posted on Sun, Jul 14th 2013, 08:03


i like this very much..thank you!!!!
Posted on Mon, Jun 24th 2013, 18:46


I'm married with 3 kids m husband z not responsible 4 m kids he will get payed bt give m nothing 4 kids z taking advantages dat I do manage 2 maintain m kids needs cn I put him in court to pay since I talk 2 him bt still I'm straugle alone bt his son frm outside marriage he z paying his maintaince thru court
Posted on Mon, Jun 24th 2013, 17:03


Hi ek is verloof aan iemand wat sy meisie gelos het voor ons saam was sy het laat weet sy is swanger, sy het baie rond geslaap, my verloofde het gevra vir DNA! die kind is nou 4 jaar oud ons het geen kontak met haar nie die ma weier vir DNA maar vertel vir almal dat my verloofde die pa is kan ons iets doen om haar te dwoong vir DNA as dit sy kind is wil hy graag deel wees van haar lewe!!
Posted on Thu, May 30th 2013, 10:13


My mother in law hate me so much that she wanted me out of my husband house because i have been unable to give her a grandchild i never knew what to do one day when i was at my working place a friend of my told me about how she had a spell cast on her by this man named Ekaka and after which her life came back to normal so i chosen to give him a trier which i did contacted him on his email: after which he get back to me and told me what i need to do and also how my problem was going to be solve and after 1month i started seeing changes in me i and so happy now that i can now give birth to my own child and my mother in law is now happy with me since i have been pregnant for her son.
Posted on Wed, May 29th 2013, 08:54


I just wanted to say that I really appreciate all your staff DR.Gboco. You really helped me through what I think was the most difficult time of my life. Your kindness and caring goes way beyond the products you sell.and I hope that I will someday meet you. You will always be in my prayers and I will never forget what you have done for me.
Posted on Wed, May 29th 2013, 08:53


Hi, me and my ex broken up before she got pregnant we did have after relationship sex also she got with someone else less than a week. I only found out 4 months of her being pregnant she told me she was, there was alot of confusing and I wasn't sure if the baby would be biologically mine we tried to see how we got on by giving it another chance but not committing too fast she was very impatient tried to force it. We fell out before Christmas I didn't speak to her till after the new year I didn't want the stress on the baby she was due at the end of Jan, we started talking again just before the birth I went to the birth but stayed in the waiting room, I've spent as much time as I can with the baby she's taken my surname aswell, I work 4 nights and have 4 days off, the problem is that if she makes plans to have a night free from the baby she never asks me to be there for the baby she always asks one of her family members we've argued on numerous of times over it, I don't know what to do.
Posted on Sun, May 26th 2013, 18:20


Hi, me and my sons father are separated 2 years now he had left me for someone else and at the started only wanted to see our son when it suited him. He then wanted our son on a regular basis which i agreed to things went great for a while then it was i cant get him this day and he was picking him up late and returning him home early. Things got really nasty so i took my son out of the situation and stopped contact. things are going threw solicitors now and to be honest its a nightmare i actually thought that maybe he wouldnt be messing about now he wants it to go to court and has been constantly torturing me and bad naming me as a mother :( i try my best with my son and everyone can see that. He does not pay maintenance.. so am wondering is it as bad as people make out going to court and will i be able to say about him not paying for his child and this can be sorted once and for all...
Posted on Sat, May 18th 2013, 20:17


Hi i think i made a mistake ive been staying with th father of my kids for years we have 3kids together he promised me that he is going to build us house of which he did n he said after that he wl marry me of which he didnt.he forsed me to change my kids surname to his of which i ended up doing it n i feel guilty about that coz i thought we were going to get mrried n change de surname all of us de same tym.i want to fix all dis mess hw do i do it.i want my kids to use my surname coz he is breaking the promise since i changed my kids surname to his what should i do
Posted on Sat, May 11th 2013, 19:59


I have an 8wk old daughter, I left her dad when I was 11 weeks pregnant. He was extremely emotionally and physically abusive and if I hadn't left, he would have eventually killed me. 1 week after I left he sent me and my family over 700 sms's, threats to me& my mom one of which they he'd have her and I raped and the baby cut out. He made clear that I belonged to him. A week later I had to meet him to give him his belongings ( minimal clothing) he then forced me into his car and kept me captive for 3 days till the police found us. He was charged with kidnapping and 7 of my 9 months of pregnancy was spent in court. He had a total of 14 charges against him and 125grams of marihuana was found in his possession. The state dropped 12 charges without my knowledge, his lawyers did everything to discredit me but fortunately I won. The magistrate told him he was obsessed with me but only sentenced him to 2 years! 2 years for kidnapping/abusing me! He is currently still in diepkloof prison. I know he will try contact me once he us out, I have a protection order in place. What are his chances of ever having contact with my daughter? We were not married, she has my surname and he has never contributed a cent. I also don't want his blood money. I have proof that he was an underground criminal (yes, it was very stupid of me to get involved). I am very scared of him and don't want him within 10 feet of my daughter. He is sadistic and I fear the worst if this happens. Please advise? I want to fight for sole care and contact rights if my child.
Posted on Sat, May 11th 2013, 09:34


if i am not registered as the father of my son am i legally liable to pay maintenance if my son was born out of wedlock?
Posted on Fri, May 10th 2013, 11:54


Hi I'm sitting with a dilemma and don't know what to do! My Boyfriend and I lived together for 16yrs before he passed away of Cancer in 2008,our Son was a 1y7m at the time,he is now 6yrs old, my problem is he left everything to me and made his Father the Executor of the estate ,his father appointed his Brother in-law as the Attorney,he has taken nearly 5yrs to transfer 2 houses and a car and get some money that's overseas and the estate is still not finished!!!! In the mean time he was borrowing me money every month after the money was finish that was in the bank,he made me sell my 1 house,gave me a R100000 and told me the rest was his,I'm still waiting for the money from overseas and when I ask him he said I won't get that money cause he can't get it,he can but I don't think he knows what he is doing. I'm sitting with no money to buy food, can't pay water and lights,our son's schooling,petrol,no money for nothing! I believe that there was enough money in the bank for him to have paid for the transfers and everything else,is there anything I can do or can I sue him for taking nearly 5yrs to finish the estate??????? I NEED HELP PLS
Posted on Fri, May 3rd 2013, 20:23


Hi. I'm 32weeks pregnant and the father of my unborn child is nigerian. We're not married but he wants me to give my unborn son his surname. I recently found out that he had been cheating on me so I don't know if I can trust him anymore. I'd like my son to have his dad's surname so he knows where he comes from but before I decide to do so I'd like to know what kind of rights his dad will then have...? Will he be able to leave the country without my consent? How much power will he then have? I really just wants what's best for my unborn son but fear I'll have major regrets in future. Please grant me some advice. Thank you
Posted on Wed, May 1st 2013, 03:48


Hi, the mother of my son broke up with me while she was still pregnant and wanted nothing to do with me. Never contacted me when my son was born, i had to find out by other people. My son is 3yrs old now and i hardly ever saw him. I pay maintenance and half of the medical bills when my son goes to the doctor or needs medication. Everything about the child must be on her terms and i have no say in anything. I have asked her that we sit down and have talk and clear the air about everything and set guidelines regarding our son but in a public place but she refuses and wants it to be at her house. The thing is i do not want to have it at her house because then her mom and everyone else gets involved. I'm only allowed to see my son if it's at her house and her one brother would come home drunk and just take my son away from me or while i'm trying to have quality time with my son then he would call the child away from me. I cannot bond with my son that way and it's extremely uncomfortable going there and trying to have quality time with him. I even had to go see a psychologist for what i went through with that family. Is there anything that i can do? Should i go see a social worker? or should i just go to the family court?
Posted on Sun, Apr 28th 2013, 16:59

Miss B

I need some assistance in the following regard: I have a 5 year old daughter whose father was never really in her life. He disappeared after she was born and returned after she turned 4 in 2011. Then he disappeared again last year- he has a drug problem. The thing is, I'd like to take her on holiday to Namibia later this year but cannot get hold of him to accompany me to Home Affairs, and even then I doubt he'll sign the forms. His signature is required as his name appears on the unabridged copy of her birth certificate. So what I need is some court order to state that I have sole custody of her. I'd also like to look into amending her birth certificate by removing his name. That way I'll be able to apply for her passport without him. I feel that this is possible as he has NEVER given me a cent towards her upbringing. His just not interested in her all all. He does have those moments when he appears out of nowhere and wants to play daddy (on and off in 2011/2012). She knows he's her father, but that's about as far as their relationship goes. I just want to get my baby's passport. How do I go about doing that? Do I have to go via the courts to amend the birth certificate or can I approach the court for exemption of his consent for her passport application?
Posted on Wed, Apr 17th 2013, 10:59


My bf is a criminology fresh graduate.I am 5 months pregnant and he ignore me,he denied everything to the people.We both know that I am pregnat for 1 month when i bought pregnancy test and confirmed because it was possitve.I dont know what happen to him when he has another girl,he denied that soon he become a father. Could I hold his documents in school? Im still studying this time and we have the same school.
Posted on Sat, Apr 13th 2013, 08:31


Hi There. My husband has been paying for 'his son' from a previous relationship for over 10 years. This woman has not allowed him to see his son or given him any proof that it is actually his son. She refuses to have the tests done and he is not even allowed to see a picture of the boy. Now she is demanding double the money that he is paying now and says that she will allow him to see the child under her supervision. I think this is really unfair. He must have more rights than this?
Posted on Thu, Apr 11th 2013, 13:38


i am currently 21 weeks pregnant and im at a situation were my boyfriend has left and told me he wants nothing to do with the baby or me, which is ok, but financially i wont cope is there anyway way i can get him to pay hospital bills and doctors bills for the birth?
Posted on Wed, Apr 10th 2013, 07:51


I have a daughter, who's father is R600 in the bank acc each month. No contact, nothing at all for the past 5 years (her age). I have proven he is the father as he requested a dna test, via court. But the problem I am having is. I DO NOT WISH HIM TO TAKE HER AWAY if anything happens to me. I am getting married in May and my husband to be is very loving towards my daughter and I wish him to have all rights a biological father would have. I need to change her surname as I can see diffculty in future when my surname changes and her stays the same. What is the next step here? Do I need to contact the real father and please bare in mind we do not have lots of money to use a lawyer at all. Thus me only able to get R600 out of him. He refuses to pay a single scent more and school is more expensive then that. Courts are not helpful and are on his side and feel me to be lucky to gain any money from the man whom have no interest in his own daughter. Please assist me and my family in this matter.
Posted on Wed, Apr 3rd 2013, 11:18


Good day, I would like to know when i can apply to the court to become the Primary place of residence...What are the procedures, I ask this as my ex-wife and I had a really good working relationship when it come to my child. When the new boyfriend arrives he has "laid down his new house laws to me", his new laws are related to when and where and times I can visit my son. I need some direction as this seems so un-fair as I dont belive he has the say to my rights. Please help regards James
Posted on Tue, Apr 2nd 2013, 16:44


Hi there, I am in a custody battle for my 12yr old son. His mom and I were never married but lived together from her pregnancy until a few months after he was born. He was born with my surname and both him and his mother were on my medical aid as she was seen as my "common law wife". I now find out that she changed his surname without me knowing about it. What can I do ?
Posted on Tue, Apr 2nd 2013, 12:41


Hi, The mother of my child passed away two years ago, shortly after the birth of the child. The child stay, or should I say is under the care of the maternal aunt. I and the aunt are enemies. She has: 1) taken me to the maintenance court though I was not working at the time, 2) created a situation irreconcilable between us, as a result I can't have contact with the child, 3) convinced the maternal grandparents, her parents, not to sign a damages contract I had prepared, 4) made it difficult for my relatives to have contact with the child, 5) applied for legal guardianship to the child, 6) taken the child of the creche after becoming aware of my visit thereto. I have since, 1) applied through the children's court for contact, 2) supported my child at all relevant times as was the case when I was unemployed, 3) opposed the guardianship brought forward. There is more to the highlights above, however. As of now I have not bee able to see my child nor my family. What are the options and implications in this regard? Kindly assist. Regards
Posted on Sun, Mar 31st 2013, 19:36

M Mustard

My brother was with his girlfriend for a year she got pregnent and after 3months she left him and said he would never see his baby.His baby girl is 4months old and he has never met her the lowers is takeing very long what can he do to see his baby please help
Posted on Sat, Mar 30th 2013, 10:58


My wife and I want to relocate to Cape Town as I have been offered an opportunity at a good company in Cape Town, the problem is that my wife has in a previous relationship had a daughter. I consider my step daughter as my own and my wife and I also have a daughter of our own. We decided to move to Cape Town over 4 years ago and now we have the opportunity. The father will do whatever he can to stop us from going, we need advice on what to do and how to notify him of our move. Please help
Posted on Thu, Mar 28th 2013, 12:39

nomsa zibande

Thank you so much I really needed a legal prospective presented in plain english and this helped a lot.
Posted on Thu, Mar 28th 2013, 08:08


Hi, my ex-girlfriend with whom I have a daughter is getting married soon and is threatening to change my daughters surname from her old surname to her new husbands surname, but he's not the father. What I want to know is, would she need my permission to change our daughters surname to her new husbands surname. She refuses to use my surname. I'm concerned because my daughter hardly knows this man, and here she must change her surname to his, whereas she would understand if she changes it to my surname. Please advise, because I DO NOT want my child to have another mans surname. I'm fine with her having her mothers maiden name or mine. In a nutshell can she change it without my permission & if not, can I take her to court to refuse the change or to order a change to my surname. Thanks
Posted on Sat, Mar 23rd 2013, 01:24


My ex and I haven't been together for 8 years we have a daughter who is nearly nine he hasn't had any contact with her since we split as he didn't want too my daughter has my surname and I was never married to her father he is on the birth certificate though, now I want to take my girl on holiday do I need her absent fathers permission , he is constantly in and out of prison is a known alcoholic and drug abuser , he is also known to police for being violent my daughter doesn't even know him and to be honest I wouldn't know where to start looking for him I've not had a csa payment in 2 years as he is forever in and out of prison for various things he has never sent a bday are or present for anything ever and he hasn't bothered to call to see her despite knowing where we lived .... What rights do I have ? Can I get his pr revoked or get him removed from birth certificate ... Do I really need his signature and permission to get her a passport , he hasn't been there for his child in 8 years does he still have same amount of pr as me even though he has been abuse most of her life
Posted on Thu, Mar 21st 2013, 03:05


I'm only 1 month pregnant and my boyfriend just told me he has a fiance of which he kept it as a sectete to me until now. He said he doesn't want any one from his family to know about the baby and he doesn't want to support the child in every aspects. What I want to know is can I sue my axe boyfrind in such a manner that he take care of all my pregnacy costs since I'm still a university student. Is it possible for him to pay for everything until I give birth since he is employed as a teacher? #Confused#
Posted on Fri, Mar 8th 2013, 23:07


hi i have offered my ex partner to have our children every other saturday as i can not trust him to keep them safe as he thinks its ok for a 6 and 8 yrs old to be left in the tesco electrial department watching the tv while he does the shopping is ok and this is not the only thing he does so what are my rights in only letting him have them once every 2 weeks and with no over night stays
Posted on Thu, Feb 28th 2013, 16:48


hello, i am terrified my child will be taken off me, i left my ex dec 2012...and i moved out to live with my nan...3 months later i find out iam 5 months pregnant...i was going to go to be with my mother..and now i want to live there and also bring the child. i don't want to be with the father ever again..and i don't want to live here in england with no job and on my own in a council estate living off benefits, i want to give them a wonderful life just like i had when i was a child in Asia, but i am terrorfied i wont be able to get what i want (the best for the child) and will struggle and have a horrible life.
Posted on Mon, Feb 25th 2013, 18:35

Donne Kemsley

Hi my name is Donne my mom has been taking care of my two sons for the past year wile our court case has been pending on a outcome between myself my mother and my ex boyfriend. please i need advice because i'm very worried my x would take full custody of my boys. i was in a abusive relationship with my x and therefore i took my kids to my mom and for help. On weekends my kids would visit my x and during this time he caused a very bad car accident and nearly killed my little boy. myself and my mom is fighting in court for the last four years now for my x not take have any custody of my sons but the court has granted him rights to see the little by for the older boy refuses to see his dad because of his bad habits and for wat his dad has done to him and me. i am very worried that my x would eventually get full custody because he has a good lawyer and my mom and myself uses the state lower. could this happen what could i as the mother do to prevent this from happening please forward me the legal advice for this is a urgent matter! Regards Donne
Posted on Mon, Feb 18th 2013, 18:34


My Daughter is 10 months old, her father (my X) who left me for another woman the day after she was born, does not have much contact with my daughter, is now insisting on visitation, she does not really know him. Does anyone know what his rights are, i have said no he cant take her till she is older and knows him better and he knows her... Please assist me if you can
Posted on Mon, Feb 18th 2013, 15:15


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Posted on Mon, Feb 18th 2013, 11:52

Lerato glenda

Hi i've been engaged to the father of my child for 3yrs nw suddenly he doesnt love me anymore and im not good enough for him. My child s always sick and she needs to be taken to her fathers home for family retuals bt he doesnt wnt to here anything. He even wrote a date on a book promising to come to my home to pay for my bride's right bt the date passed what should i do? Do i have the right to sue for bridge of promise?
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Posted on Mon, Feb 11th 2013, 17:24


My son is 17 and my ex removed him fron school without my consent in January 2013! I am paying maintenace, providing a medical aid and pay half of the school fees. I learned from a friend that my son is now in a college and my son and my ex kept this from me until today! I am upset as you can imagine. My ex made arrangemnts with the school nd simply had all my deposits tranferred to the ``new institution``. She now expects me to pay half of the College (not part of my existing court order) irrespective of the fact that the College is R30000 p.a. in relation to the school that was more or less half that amount. Any inputs, i understand that she should now bring a NEW APPLICATION to court for me to pay the College.
Posted on Thu, Feb 7th 2013, 14:30


My friend lost his job because he is eleptic he is batteling to get a job his ex wants take him to court for outstanding maintanance money and threatning him if he doesn't show up he will be locked up can they do it
Posted on Tue, Feb 5th 2013, 18:29


hi i ave a 3month old daughter and her dad (my ex) didnt stand by me y i was pregnant but now he has decide he wants to see her i hav good reason y i dont want hm havin contact
Posted on Mon, Jan 28th 2013, 18:46

Mamma van Pretoria

Hi Daar, my kind is voor die Huwelik gebore en het die pa se van gekry, ons is so rukkie na die geboorte getroud. Hy is net in SA elke 3-4 maande en Sien ons kind miskien 1 keer per week in die 3 weke wat hy hier is. My kind word groot in n huis waar my nooiensvan gebruik word en my kind aan vanaf daardie van. So ons praat glad nie oor vanne in die huis nie, juis sodat my kind nie uit vole nie. En om ook verwarring te keer. Ek het gevra om ons kind se van te verander na my nooiensvan, watse fout was dit... Sou nou wil ek weet kan elk legal my van dan ook net kan bysit so my kind sal dan 2 vanne he. Die wet se dat mense wat meer as 183 dae uit die land is nie tax hoef te betaal nie, so Hoekom kan die wet dan ook nie vir my daardie selfde voordeel gee om sulke besluite te maak omrede die pa so lank op n slag van die huis is. My kind het ook geen band met die pa nie en dit het ons laat toets by n speltarapeut ....... So my vraag is, kan ek sonder die pa se toestemming my nooiensvan gaan bysit?
Posted on Thu, Jan 24th 2013, 21:38


Hi My sister had her son eight years ago out of wedlock. they seperated when my nephew was +/- 6 years old. A year ago my sister applied for maintenance as the father did not contribute in any way in the up bringing of his son even while they were together. He has been paying maintenance of R850-00 a month for just over 6 months. As verballoy agreed between my sister and her ex he would get to see my nephew every alternate holidays, weekends when he required to see my nephew. They stay +/- 200kmn apart. He would hardly contact my nephew over the phone in between visits and when he does wit woul only be to question him about what he is eating and so on and so forth. This December was his turn to have my nephew. when it came time to return him he sent my sister a sms to tell her he has filed for custody and she must not contact him or his family up until the custody battle. My sister went to the courts and she got a court order to get her son back. She also opened up a domstic violence case on emotional adbuse to her.(She has received various sms etc from him as well as his family insulting her.) We got her son back. How ever he has gone to child welfare with absurd allegations made against my sister. The social worker came to see her today and advised her they will be taking my nephew to a safe place for 6 months to asess him and the allegations that were made. What are my sisters rights with this type of thing as she is extremely upset that her son will be taken away for 6 months. How can the welfare go on only what the father has advised and not do proper investigations before making a decision to take her son away. The father clearly does not have his sons best interests at heart in my eyes, it seems he is hell bent on hurting my sister but does not realise he is hurting his son on the process. Broken hearted and confused.
Posted on Thu, Jan 17th 2013, 16:05


Good Day i have a question, my siser is now about 6 months pregnant she lives with her boyfriend and his mother, he cheats on her as if it is nothing and then brages about it a few weeks will go by and he will be so sorry until next time, she wants out but does not have work, she want to go back to our parents but her boyfriend's mother said she will take the baby away from her when he is born. what is she to do, she wants out but is scared of loosing her baby. Please any advice!! Thank you
Posted on Thu, Jan 17th 2013, 10:29


My question is as follow, my son was born out of wedlock and his mother and i desided to let him have her surname, on the original application of the birth certificate, i sighned as father of my son, but there was a problem regarding the surname, due to his mom that was devorsed and she then applied to take back her maiden name. Then our son was reregistered on her maiden name, but i never signed any documentation. How can i find out if i do apear on the register as my sons biological father, and if thats not the case, what is my rights? Second point is that just before we found out that she was preagnant we split up, in friendly way, she had to move to different part of sa due to family responsibilities. Witch lead to the breakup. As of day one when we found out she are having our child, i started paying maintanance. now i want to know if i do apear as biological father in the register, do i have to apply for parental rights or not? And what i can do if i was deceaved with the registration of my son at birth. I know its not often that a father of an iligitamate child is so adement, but he is my son and i love him dearly. things have become a little difficult between his mother and i as of late. So i would just please like to know my rights as father T
Posted on Wed, Jan 9th 2013, 12:17


Hi, i have a son with my boyfriend at the moment (his son) i am feeling unsafe as he always threatens to take my child away from me when ever we are in a fight can he do this? Also my son surname is his father surname and i want to change it but i know he wont consent to letting me change his surname to mine what do i do about this? we are not married we lived togther for two years and we are currently still dating. Please help i cant live without my children!!!!!
Posted on Tue, Jan 8th 2013, 16:16

Tumelo Komane

What happens when the husband of the mother refuses the wife and the biological father to visit and support the child in any way?
Posted on Tue, Jan 8th 2013, 11:30


Please help. We've been dating for 5 years and its been hell. He stays by me with my parents and does not want to work or support us in anyway. He smokes weed and drinks all day "because he can" the first year we met he was wonderful everything changed when he started smoking drugs. He started abusing me and hitting my child since she was 3months old. Her crying of waking up in the middle of the night "irritates him" she's 4 years old now and she sees everything. I left him a couple of days ago because I cannot put up with this anymore and its true love is blind. she doesn't want him to touch her at all. I try to make him do things like bath her or change her nappy or make bottles but she cry's and says I must he must not touch her now I don't know if he has done something els to her that he can't even change her nappy. I love him with all my heart but my child has to come first. Everytime we fight he goes away for one day then his back and begs me to take him back this is about the 30th time. He threatens me so it feels like I don't have any other choice but to be with him. I don't know what to do I am scared of going to the police because what do I tell them? I don't have any prove of what he does. Except all his friends if that will count as proof. Many people tell me what are you still doing with him and seriously I don't know I left him now 3 days ago and it still feelis like I'm living in hell as he won't stop with us he continues to make trouble. I'm scared of going to court as maybe he will get visitations with her and she doesn't want to be near him. He has not lifted a finger to do anything for her as my parents do all of it for him. Nappies, clothes, bottles, shoes, sweets, food, bed, etc. Please help what could I do.
Posted on Thu, Dec 27th 2012, 00:09


Please help. I have a 4 year old baby girl who really suffers with me and her fathers relation ship We've been dating for 5 years and its been hell. He stays by me with my parents and does not want to work or support us in anyway. He smokes weed and drinks all day "because he can" the first year we met he was wonderful everything changed when he started smoking drugs. He started abusing me and hitting my child since she was 3months old. Her crying of waking up in the middle of the night "irritates him" she's 4 years old now and she sees everything. I left him a couple of days ago because I cannot put up with this anymore and its true love is blind. she doesn't want him to touch her at all. I try to make him do things like bath her or change her nappy or make bottles but she cry's and says I must he must not touch her now I don't know if he has done something els to her that he can't even change her nappy. I love him with all my heart but my child has to come first. Everytime we fight he goes away for one day then his back and begs me to take him back this is about the 30th time. He threatens me so it feels like I don't have any other choice but to be with him. I don't know what to do I am scared of going to the police because what do I tell them? I don't have any prove of what he does. Except all his friends if that will count as proof. Many people tell me what are you still doing with him and seriously I don't know I left him now 3 days ago and it still feelis like I'm living in hell as he won't stop with us he continues to make trouble. I'm scared of going to court as maybe he will get visitations with her and she doesn't want to be near him. He has not lifted a finger to do anything for her as my parents do all of it for him. Nappies, clothes, bottles, shoes, sweets, food, bed, etc. Please help what could I do.
Posted on Thu, Dec 27th 2012, 00:07


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Posted on Fri, Nov 23rd 2012, 08:59


hello dear, i am a nigerian and i have a child with my south african boyfriend who is cheating on me at the moment. the problem right now is that i am not married to him and my child is registarted in his name. i want to change it into my surname will the child still be a south afrian since i am changing her surname to mine and i am not a south africa?
Posted on Wed, Nov 21st 2012, 13:03


Hi can you help please. My son has a 5 year old daughter out of wedlock. For about a year and a half he was unemployed and could not pay his monthly maintenance. We as grandparents contributed and when my son could find work he would contribute. She took him to the maintenance court last year and demanded R8000.00 a month. His salary after deductions was not even that and they decided he pays R1000.00 per month. He has now found better employment and he now pays R2000.00 per month. During the time that he could not pay maintenance she refused him access to his daughter via telephone calls and visits. She decided to change the daughter's surname back to her own without consent from the childs father. Is she allowed to do that?
Posted on Thu, Nov 15th 2012, 09:55

Eben Engelrbecht

me and my x girlfriend have a 2 year ols girl, i work and live in a diffrent town than they are, my x revuse to let me c my child. i pay child support every month, i buy xtra clothes and stuff for my kittle gilr but she just wont let me see my child, when i talk to my child on the phone she always tell me to come and take her for a visit and she miss me and stuff. please what steps can i take
Posted on Thu, Nov 8th 2012, 13:16


Hi, I would like to know if my son earns 4500rand a month how much maintenance must he pay for his son of 7months?What visitation rights does he have because he does support his child but the mother of the child keeps on saying she's taking him to court and he don't stand a chance.There is alot tha'ts wrong with her and her mother.I am so fedup please help!If I can just mention the mother of the child has a record of overdosing herself twice and is on medication althoughsh works,Her mother is not making enough money because she works now and then from home,they both driving a car with baby without a license and they just recently put baby at the day mother they can hardly afford.My son is not with the mother of the child but she keeps threatening him and I feel hurt for the baby sake and his.I am the grandmother that gets in the middle of everything because my son does not know his rights.I am prepared to give up my 2day a week job to look after my grandson sothey can save the money they giving the day mother please help im desperate. Thank you!
Posted on Fri, Nov 2nd 2012, 20:47


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Posted on Tue, Oct 23rd 2012, 23:46


I avenged my husband after he cheated on me by having an affair he wants to take the kids with him and divorce me saying i will bring my prostitution at home and will affect the kids.what legal steps can i take because i dont want to lose my kids all boys 3yrs and 10months.
Posted on Wed, Oct 17th 2012, 09:34


I've been involved for 11years with my girlfriend,her family is influencing her not to see my 2 year old boy.we recently had a fight and she moved back to her mothers house and refuses to come back home and refuses me access to my kid.can I fight legally for sole custody
Posted on Tue, Oct 16th 2012, 19:55


Oh my gosh, i have been suffering so much not knowing that i can actually do something about the situation.. thank you so much for this info
Posted on Mon, Oct 15th 2012, 13:34


hi,i wanted 2 ask..m boyfriend hs been living with his kids mom 4 a couple of yrs unmarried & also livin with his kids moms siblings in his house & supportin them with everything,frm food,clothin,school everythin & also doin everythin 4 his kids 2.hes been a gud dad..he paid 4 damages 4 al 3 kids,did al necesary rituals 4 the kids bt nw the mother is threatnin 2 take the kids away n place em @ enkandla wr she was raised mind u this is very far 4rm the father's home twn n she wil go n apply 4 maintanance forcefuly EVEN THOU HES BEEN DOIN EVERYTHIN 4 HIS KIDS since she found out that he nw hs a gf...he didnt cheat on hr though.he found m after they wr jst livin 2gthr.WAT RIGHTS DOES HE HV???
Posted on Sat, Oct 13th 2012, 09:10


Good day, Ek wil net weet, my friend het n kind by n vrou wat nou 1 jaar oud is, sy wyer dat hy onderhoud betaal, en sy wyer hom om sy kind te sien, of bietjie by die kind te kyer, wat kan hy doen?
Posted on Mon, Oct 8th 2012, 07:56


what do i do when i sent my girl friend on holiday with my son to her moms place in another province which is about 1000km away from home, and when it was time to come back home she do not want to return back with my son and she is now there for 3 months. the last time i saw my kid he was 7 months old. and now recently we had a small argument ,and now she dont wana answer my calls or reply to my sms s. i am the one who surports the kid and her and she still demands money from me. please can someone help me with advice and what i should do and can do.
Posted on Thu, Oct 4th 2012, 11:02


What am i to do when im drag to courth for maintenance that im unable to pay temporary. because im unemployed at the moment please help!!.
Posted on Wed, Sep 26th 2012, 02:53


I'm a single mother of a 2 year old boy, me and the father separated almost 2 years ago, he told me to take my stuff and f***off from his place. Two weeks after I moved out the new woman moved in. I went the legal route, mediation etc... The father didn't want to do any of those things, his attorney drew up sort of parental plan and responsibility that I didn't feel comfortable with. Took it to my attorney just to find out there is a lot of loop holes in the contact. My attorney then drew up a new and we signed it, bear in mind that this can't be made an order of court. My son’s father didn't want to go to court at all nor to the mediator. My sons father moved in a 12month period 4 times, 1st move was with the woman he left me for, then he moved to his dad for a +- 2week period, then moved to his old place, he stayed there for +-6months and then moved in with the new girl. Ever since he moved in with her, I have been having problems with the dad, he is fighting with me about childish things etc. When my son was in hospital, they didn't even mention my name as the biological mother. I phoned the hospital and informed them that I'm the biological mother and not the other woman. A month after that he forced me to give back the medical aid card, if I don't he will change the membership number. Thinking of my child, I gave back the medical aid card and just kept a photo copy. It has been hard for me; he is still trying to rule my life... I'm not allowed to stay with my parents in order to my life better for me or my child, because he is afraid his child will be harmed. I'm thinking of my child, to make his life better and comfortable. This won't be forever, just until my debt has been sorted. He went behind my back and requested a report on the behavior of my son from the school. The school as informed me that my son isn't himself, bulling the kids etc. Can this be of his routine being disrupted, by the overnight sleep on a Wednesday night and every second Sunday? The school also complained that my son isn't on time for school when he is with the dad. Can I use the report, in asking the court to take away the overnight contact during the week, and only keep it for the weekends? Please give me advice, thanks.
Posted on Tue, Sep 25th 2012, 11:54


im a single mom and just want to find out in connection with this maintenance ect. my girl is 2 years of age and i only get R1200 from her dad as maintenance. how much should he give me? and when he is married to a other woman, does she have right to make any decision "like the father" in my daughters everyday going? i just realy need to find out all this because i left everything cuz thought we can do this without fighting about it. but getting messier by the day.
Posted on Mon, Sep 24th 2012, 10:15


The father of my child has not worked since I met him 4 years ago. He does absolutely nothing all day, he's aggressive and demanding. The plan is to leave him in two months, when my lease is up. He has threatened to kidnap our daughter and kill me if I try to leave, I know he's serious about it. Financially I've been the only one providing. We are not married, but my little 14 month has a double barrel surname. What are my options???????????
Posted on Sun, Sep 23rd 2012, 21:50


Hi I would like to know,If I earn a basic of 5000 rand after deductions I have only 3000rand how much maintenance do I pay for a child of 6months and what is my rights to visitation? Sometimes the mother does not want me to see the child only when it suits her.Please help!
Posted on Thu, Sep 20th 2012, 13:56


I conceived my son whilst i was married but on seperation with my husband. My husband decided to take me back with my son whom he brought up as his own. We have since divorced and my son is now 14years. The biological father was never involved and i have since asked for his financial assistance since i am out of job and he is not helping. He did come through once for his son, that was more than a year ago. What can i do to get him involved in his sons upbringing.
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Posted on Mon, Sep 3rd 2012, 14:56


Hi there I am divorced single mom I would like to move cities Would I need my ex husbands consent to do so? Thank you for your advice Karen
Posted on Fri, Aug 17th 2012, 13:31

Chris Romeo

Hi, I grew up called Chris. I only learned from my father in 1987 few minutes before his death that it was a fabricated name he gave me in early 1974, to succeed to run away from South Africa as it was unsafe for him since he was victim of both apartheid & xenophobia at that time because he had me with a South African girl he customarily wedded. He then gave me my original birth certificate where I could read Elisabet Radebe as my mother & Alain as my original name. He indicate where my biological mother could be found in Dumisa, KZN. He told me she knows that I am alive & that one day I will return to see her. I managed to come as Chris to S.A since the year 2004. I found that my mom was no more. I located some of her latives, her sister who told me how my late mother wanted me to take South African citizenship as her only begotten child. I am now struggling to get citizenship. Can you advise me what to do? Regards,
Posted on Sat, Aug 11th 2012, 09:22


my exgirfreind and i broke up 7 yrs. ago my son would also raise him since she was in hawaii with him and i am in guam, my parents brought my son to guam since she authorized them to care for him since she was in california with her boyfriend. my son stayed with me and i had him going to school for one school year. his mother came to guam withdrew him from school without my knowledge and wouldn't let me see or speak to him and lefted to hawaii again. my parents live in hawaii how can i authorize my parents to see him?
Posted on Mon, Aug 6th 2012, 14:46


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Posted on Fri, Jul 20th 2012, 11:53


I have received a so called new maintenance agreement from my ex. The one clause states "3.4. The Biological Mother shall allow the Biological Father’s parents and friends to exercise contact in respect of the Minor Child, in addition to any contact they may have pursuant to the exercise of the Biological Father’s rights of contact in terms of clause 3.3, at times agreed to between the parties. " Please advise where in the maintenance law it states that friends have the same rights as the father???
Posted on Tue, Jul 3rd 2012, 13:44


i hope someone can help me! my ex moved to new zealand with out letting me know. He made contact about 3 months after he left! After a year we visited him, with the intention to immigrate(i paid for everything)! After 2 and a months he chased us out and we came back! he hasn't phone them in the almost year we have been back! He doesn't want to pay maintenance and he doesn't want to give up his parental rights because he says he would not give me that pleasure. So my question is, is there a way i can get him to give it up without his consent? Please i really need advice
Posted on Thu, Jun 28th 2012, 13:14


I am battling to get visitation rights to my daughter. My x-fiancee is not prepared to give me our childs id no nor a copy of her birth cerificate. Neither is she prepared to go to court to apply legally for maintenance as she refuses to "stand in" maintenance court queues as she feels its below her. I have given her my id, my address plus the maintenance forms to complete. No luck. I have been to a lawyer. He cannot help. I have been to the family court, they cant help as I DONT HAVE MY CHILD ID NO? So where do i turn to now? Sorry to say mens rights do NOT exist!!!!
Posted on Sat, Jun 23rd 2012, 22:50


My ex recently took me to maintenance court for our nine year old son. i recently got married and now she is keeping him from staying with us over weekends or holidays although he wants too. I had my son for more that 5 years over weekends and every holiday(easter/christmas). What can I do to have her understand that we have joint custody and that she cannot just keep my son from me. Just last night (20 Jun 2012) he asked to stay with us over the school holidays and she refused. Please help.Thanks
Posted on Thu, Jun 21st 2012, 12:25


I do not agree with the statement that you need a fathers consent when changing a childs surname to the mothers if it is originaly in the fathers surname at birth. I changed my sons surname without consent. He is not in my childs life but we lived together the first month after his birth. Many people do not know that a mother can change a childs surname when born out of wedlock. But it simply cost me R70...
Posted on Wed, Jun 13th 2012, 21:25

Concerned father

I want to see my daughter, her mother and i was never married, we stayed together and when my daughter was 2 the relationship ended, now recently i had a nervous breakdown after losing my job, and having to support everyone in my family as well as my ex for maintenance for my daughter, now my ex refuses to let me see my daughter, what can i do? Just because i haven't been able to pay the maintenance for the last six months isn't enough reason to alienate my daughter from me?
Posted on Tue, Jun 12th 2012, 14:21


Lets say guy#1 later ends up not being the father and guy#2 is. Do you have to tell guy#2 or if you do tell guy#2 what can happen? can he take him away? or what?! I need all the details PLEASE!
Posted on Sat, Jun 9th 2012, 06:27


Hi I just want to find out. My daughter is 1 year old and her father also my boyfriend has agreed to always pay half the maintenance as I am living with my parents and a student they are paying my half on my behalf. A few months ago he stopped paying maintenance and the amount is now well over R7000. I have applied for maintenace by the courts but have not heard from them in 3 months. Can we take him to court for the R7000 and for maintenance from now on? And also what is his visitation rights as our relationship is comming to an end due to a constant fighting about his responsibilities.
Posted on Thu, Jun 7th 2012, 08:53


I have 2 children out of wedlock I have tried to sort stuff out but it aint working out and well the mother is givingI me problems I just want nothing to do with the mother I understand I must pay but need help in sorting out this stuff,
Posted on Thu, Jun 7th 2012, 04:53


hi, i am going thro court to get my children home my ex-boyfriend beat me up and put me in hospital and took my children. he is on there birth cretivicate and has had them 4 a year now what do u think my chances are of geting them home becuse hes violent and a drug user and a achole user
Posted on Tue, Jun 5th 2012, 13:33


Posted on Sun, Jun 3rd 2012, 14:32


Hi i need some help here, i have a 3 year aold daughter and am now married to someone else and not the father. Who has the right to have custody of the child is it me the mother or the father because he is still unmarried. if it is the father what will happen to my daughter when he decides to get married. he still has all the right he had to the child nothing has changed.he is saying that the child is being adopted by default but my husband and i never said he will adopt the child because he knows that the father is still alive and wants to be part of the babyç life. Please assist as a matter of urgency matter of urgency
Posted on Wed, May 30th 2012, 14:45


Urgent!!!!! I need advice, my child was on his grandparents medical aid, the died last year, is it possible for the child to still be on that medical aid?
Posted on Wed, May 30th 2012, 08:24


Hi. I'm a father to my x's baby. She's only 2 months pregnent now and she has already said that im not allowed to see my child, any photos of the ultra sound, nor am i allowed to get my personal belongings. I didn't do nothing to her. Is that even legal of her stopping me to see my child or even taking my rights away from me??
Posted on Tue, May 29th 2012, 05:54


Hi,I would just like to know what happens to the child when the biological mother dies.does the child stay with the grandparents or does the father gets the child.The mother and father were not married and were no longer together at the time of her death.The father were not always around and he was very emotionally abusive to the mother.The child is still staying with the grandparents as the mother was unemployed and also stayed there.Can the grandparents get custody to the child and act as guardians. Thanx
Posted on Fri, May 25th 2012, 06:25

Jenna O'Brien

Hello, Im a single mother to a 2 yr old little girl, her father has never contributed a penny of maintenance towards her. The reason that I left him is that he is a serial gambler, who stole from me reguarly, and in the end lost us our home. She was only a baby when I left him, we were never married but he is on her birth certificate. He also has a very aggressive nature, which has landed him in prison on occasions, never through me and him. He does take our daughter reguarly when I go to work, well he takes her one day my mum the rest, as he hardly ever has a job. Although he does take her, its on his terms and he also just cancels to be awkward. What I basically want to know is, is it possible for me to make sure if anything happens to me that he doesnt get full guardianship of her? I wouldnt want him not to have contact with her, I just dont want him to raise her, as it would not be in my daughters best interest, thanks
Posted on Wed, May 23rd 2012, 23:03


Hello, I have recently moved from cpt to jnb! The father of my daughter still stays in cpt. I have been here for 7 months and the father of my child has not paid maintenance. I ve been to court for maintenance and he has just stoped paying since ive moved. He is a known drug addict since the age of 14 years old. He has been threating to kill me over the phone and talks alot of nonsence to my 8yr old over the phone! I didnt move to spite him in any way shape or form but to simply provide a better life for me and my daughter. Ive come to a point now where im really getting sick of all the threats and him emotionally messing with my daughter. Please help! what cann i do to get him out of mine and my babys life for ever! She dosnt deserve to be mentally & emotionally abused by him any longer!
Posted on Tue, May 22nd 2012, 19:19


I need to find out. If in the event that one finds themselves in a situation where they have a child with someone who was going through a divorce at the birth of the child and is now pleading poverty on the basis that he is married in community of property and therefore stands to loose half of his assets.If the man refuses to pay maintenance, does the 3rd party have grounds to seek maintenance from the man's spouse, as although they are going through a divorce they are not official divorced yet and the man is claiming that all his money is going toward the up keep of his family although he doesnt even live in their matrimonial home and is living elsewhere. What can one do in such an instance?
Posted on Tue, May 22nd 2012, 11:04


Hi all plz assist,my cousin sister has 2 kids with dis guy an he is refusing to pay maintenance,she is ununempoloyed an applied for court order which was granted,but this guy does not pay.does anyone oout there knws how/anyone dat can help please.all we need is for this guy to own up to his responsibbilities,we don't hav money to pay any lawyer let alone take care of this kid.plz email any advise,assistance that can get us through wil be highly appreciated.
Posted on Mon, May 21st 2012, 20:05

perry fellows

my girlfriend and i live together,wehave two children, the girl is hers and the boy is ours.she no longer wishes to be with me,what rights do i have ?
Posted on Sun, May 20th 2012, 20:21

Roelof Robberts

I have been in a relationship for more than 10 years and we have 1 daughter and she is now pregnant again but I recently discovered that she has had more than 15 sexual partners in the time we've been together (15 whose names she knew) I need to know if she has the right to refuse a paternity test
Posted on Sun, May 20th 2012, 17:30


Hopefully someone can give me some advice, my husband who thought his son to his x girlfriend died because that was she told him that, he left state for work when she was pregnant and he tried to find but couldnt find her. We found out that he didnt die she gave him up. Does my husband have any rights we have letter and everything from her stating the child died and also have proof that she gave him up and I just want to know what we can do if anything
Posted on Sun, May 20th 2012, 04:34


I have a girlfriend and we have a beautifull daughter.Ive supported my child as the best i could,sometimes i was out of pocket and i made a way to give to my daughter.Im currently not working,lost my job about a month ago and last month i gave my last and my girlfriend understood there wasnt a month i didnt skip to help her with our daughter bt all i wanted to know is,she made a case againt me for maintance,is the court goin to demand my parents to step in for me?I dont want that at all because its my child not theres.Like ive said i gave every month to my daughter.
Posted on Fri, May 18th 2012, 22:29


I need to know my rights, 14 years ago I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, the father and I never lived together and he didnt want the baby, he even gave up his job so he didnt have to pay maintenance. He has never payed anything not the hospital nothing for her. I moved to the uk without his permission as I had sole custody of her. However in the uk and europe the laws are different, I have just moved to sweden and they required a letter from her father to say she could live in sweden with me. Which I eventually got thank goodness for face book I tracked him down. But now if I want to do anything with her I have to get his permission unless I have a legal document stating I am legally her sole custodion. How do I go about this from sweden I cant beg him now for things after so long he hasn't seen my daughter for 7 years please help me
Posted on Fri, May 18th 2012, 09:07


if a woman stays with a man for more than three is she recognized as your wife in our SA law?
Posted on Thu, May 17th 2012, 16:27


its a pity i feel defeated, my ex boyfriend is gay he never told me and i never had a clue he proposed marriage and i got pregnant and all in all this time he was having relationships with men, i found out a month after i gave birth to my child and my child's surname is in his surname, i feel so used and tricked, i feel like he used me just to have a baby, there is no way i can change my child's surname now cause he wont consent, he helps out with our child when he feels like it at least he pays for our babys medical aid, he takes our child during holidays to his home town i dont object to that but he is not helping out enough, he spends his money on booze and parties. its a pity men can be so deceitful.
Posted on Thu, May 17th 2012, 15:00

jason moonsamy

i have a child born out of wedlok , i initially had to go to court to get visitation now my daughter is 8 years old she is used to being with my other children and my wife and she spends weekends and holidays at my place . my ex gives me 2 weeks notice that she is relocating 700 km away from durban . ive tried family adv office to prove her unfit as she intoxicate herself ,smokes,night life , iv tried to show social services that she is an unfit mother by means of physical and photos and videos but the court still sides with her , i have a stable home and also financially stable. if someone out there can advise me or maybe had an experience please share with me. how can i help my child grow up an educated and responsible child , how can i stop my ex from relocating my child
Posted on Sat, May 12th 2012, 17:49


I have now 7months daughter. During my labor until i gave birth, the father of my daughter was there and pay all the bills in the hospital and buy all the things for our baby during that time. Actually we are not married but in the birth cert. of my daughter he was there and the surname of my daughter was his. The father of my daughter has another family which is first before me and im aware of that. we just continued our relationship and its because he said he loves me and willing to live with me (it happens im not yet pregnant years ago) Few months ago were having big argumentation and accusing me that i have somebody else, actually he always accused me even its not true 100%. Until we broke up and he left me and my daughter it happened last FEB.2012. March 2012. He called up and said "Come to my work get the money for the child" and yes i go to his work and get the money worth USD $14.00, P600.00 in Philippine money that for the whole month of MARCH2012 that's the last time and until now never give me again a financial support for our daughter. He Just support her first family and live with them. Can you help me or give advise if you on my situation? If he want to see my daughter is it OK even he doesn't give a financial support to her?
Posted on Fri, May 11th 2012, 06:10


Hi i would like to know in the case of two people that jus met for 3 months and got married without thinking about it , and then gets pregnant . the guy is unemployed and has been before they met , will the husband go to prison since he cannot afford to pay maintenance , his parents , only dad works supports the mum and granny will they be liable for maintenance ? they never knew son got married in first place. furthermore girls parents and girl are blackmailing the guy and threatening his family with phone calls so on.
Posted on Thu, May 10th 2012, 23:30


I have an 11 year old son. His dad is not on the birth certificate and has made it clear that he wants nothing to do with him. My son is in my surname. If i wanted to go overseas with my son, will i need to have the fathers consent?
Posted on Thu, May 10th 2012, 13:44


I have a 2 year old, almost 2 year old daughter born out of wedlock! I have raised her by myself untill I got married a year ago. The only daddy she knows is my husband! He never wanted her, he wanted me to go for an abortion and that he didnt want anything to do with her and that she isnt his child! Abortion is murder so if it was up to him she wouldnt be here today. So I had to fight for her right to live, I had to fight for her rights as a human being. So what makes that right in the court of law to just let men do what they want and get away with it? His action speak of someone that never wanted a child. Now he says he wants to fight for her! She doesnt even know her she saw him 10 times in her intire life that is if he showed up or didnt have an excuse of some sort the last time he saw her was May 2011! Since Nov 2011 there was a court order for child support every month and an agreement which he and his laywer wanted! He never did anything that was in the agreement that he should have done every month and for the last 2months he didnt pay his child support! now the say I had to be in court which I know nothing about and they just stop the child support with out me knowing about anything saying he wants dna test to be done< this is what I have been told! He makes remarks like he set a fat kid on fire and stole a child the other day and talks about his you know what all the time! There is 2 incidents he gets so excited to just take her and change her nappy so I told him never will he do that again! The other time when he was here in the 10 times that he showed up he closed the bedroom door with her there, so that I couldnt see what he was doing and when I confronted him he got angry! Is there anything I can do to get him out of her life! And does his parents have iny say or rights in my daughters life, cause of their son they decided when she was 2months old that they wanted nothing to do with her now they wanna say after 2 years they want to know her! I dont want them confussing her and turn her world upside down in this stage of her life! Is there anything I can do? Please help?
Posted on Wed, May 9th 2012, 13:23


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Posted on Tue, May 8th 2012, 09:16


Ok my situation is weird me and my gf were in a happy relationship and we found out she was pregnant she's 27. And I'm 23 she's having the baby sept 18 is the due date well any way 3 months ago she left me and we were one week away from moving in together because she said she needed space and she was too stressed out now she's gunna have the baby and be living with her parents and sister and I have my own house with 2 bedrooms and I was wondering if I have the right to want the baby to live with me since I have my own place and own room for my son yo sleep in I'm trying to make me and her relationship work for the sake of the baby because I want to be in my childs life everyday and every night but my now ex gf dobt even want to try and work things out is there a way for me to get custody over the mother since I can support my child and she.can't please email me. For your advice jumpin120@gmail.con I really would like to know
Posted on Tue, May 8th 2012, 04:19


I'm wondering if anyone can help me my x-partner is having my baby, and we are not getting along she is telling me that i can only see our child with a social worker as she feel like i am unstable, i have move back my dad, but i have a full time job as a engineer and i will look into renting another house when i say some money. who will deem waether that i am stable or will need to go with a social worker to see my child. This child is my life and sole and i will do all in my power to give it a good life what will help the court see that i can be a good father what right do i have in this situation??
Posted on Mon, May 7th 2012, 16:59

frederik botha

hi. im currently in a situation where i need some advice. two and a half years ago, my girlfriend split up with me, and got pregnant with another mans child. he disappeared of the scene. she didnt had any finances to pay for the birth. i took it upon myself and payed for the scans, the birth, clothes, etc. a beautifull girl were born. we agreed that the child will have my surname. after a while my girlfriend broke up with me again. the child is been staying with me from birth, she is in a christian creche, on a good medical aid. my girlfriend moved out, anf though we got back together, broke up again recently. ( she wants to be free, thats her excuse ). what r my rights in this situation and what stand me to do? need advice urgently........
Posted on Sun, May 6th 2012, 13:55


i need help pls.I'm 28 years old with two children;s in different father when my little girl s 1 years old i split up with her father and i meet my daughter s 4 now @ she;s using her father surname and i want to change her surname to my fiance surname.because his not giving any support or financial to my daughter also my daughter she only meet her real father when she was 10 months old.also my x boyfriend b4 he sign the parental responsibility hi said he will help me with the financial...even if his in saudi arabia working there.
Posted on Sun, May 6th 2012, 00:56


I am 30 weeks pregnant. The father and I were in a relationship until 2 weeks before I found out that I was pregnant. When he found out, he begged me to give him another chance. We dicided not to get married and that this child will be born out of wedlock. If by chance we dicided to persue a marraige, it will only be much later. Two months later he found out that he needs to leave the country for work for a minimum of six months. All was fine, even though he would miss the birth of his son and he would only meet him when the baby is 2 months old. We had regular contact via emails. In the emails the question of who was responsible for the medical accounts was risen. I earn R9000 a month. I have been on medical aid for almost 2 years, which has been difficult, since this amounts R1500 each month. The only problem is that the medical aid does not pay for all your prenatal visits to the doctors, certain bloodtests ect. These amounts that the medical aid does not pay for has risen to more than R7000 in debt. My credit card is maxed out and I don't know if he is resonsible for paying part or all of certain costs. Can someone please tell me what the father's responsiblity is when it comes to the pregnancy? He has said that he can help, but what amounts can I ask for? Am I responsible for halve? Or must he pay everything that the medical aid doesn't pay for? I don't want to sound stingy, but I would like to know what my rights are.
Posted on Thu, May 3rd 2012, 14:39

ankit patel

if i am above 22 year old then i am capble for in fimily PR file?PLS GIVE ME ANSWER and in present time i am student
Posted on Wed, May 2nd 2012, 10:39

Jenine Francis

I have recently split up with my fiance after 8 years and we have twin girls together that have just recently turned one. We just cant stop fighting and this has also led to becoming physical at times, I dont want my girls to grow up in a hostile environment so felt it best we go our seporate ways. Which has now also become really ugly....I just want to know from what age is it suitable for them to go to him on a weekend as I feel they are still way to young and he has moved in with his parents and they are basically alcoholics and im just not comfortable with them staying there.
Posted on Wed, May 2nd 2012, 00:19


i have been living with my partner for three years. our relationship has not been going well and i`ve often tried my hardest to make it work. i had gone away for a week to give him space to think and as i was about to return he told me not to return and i should find my own space. we have a child together and i feel he made a decision to seperate so he should be the one to move out seeing it is last minute for me and it gives me two weeks to find a place for me and my 18month old, plus i have to have close to R20k deposit to a new place and i dont have that cash immediately. he insists on kicking me out and he says it is his house therefore i should move. we have been renting for three years, he signed the lease and paid deposit but i have been contributing the exact same amount monthly. can anybody please advise what to do? is the law on my side. i basically cant afford to move so quickly and i feel he should move because he can find a cheaper 1 bedroom place for himself whereas i have to find a 2 bedroom for myself and the child. on top of that he made the decision to move. Help anybody.
Posted on Tue, May 1st 2012, 21:37


Hi I would like to ask ,Iam not english but I used to live in UK and in that time I felt pregnant with english bloke but he left me ,I moved back to my home country ,He is not in touch with me atol.Just incase one day he will want to know his son and see him whats his and mine rights ? Thanks
Posted on Tue, May 1st 2012, 16:32


what if the baby does not have his last name and the baby mother is underage and doesnt really take care of him the father and the fathers parents takes care of him she ad cuts herself and smokes pot what rights does he have she ended up leaving with him and only had a blanket over him and we dont know were she went
Posted on Mon, Apr 30th 2012, 00:52

Harrison William

Pls help,im a father of six years old girl,and im not south african,first i want my child to use my surname and secondly i want to take my child to visit my parents back home.can any one help me on this?please.
Posted on Sat, Apr 28th 2012, 07:06


Hi?i am single mum with 1year and 7months old boy,i am filipina,27years old,i am from philippines and the father of my son is from colorado USA,last oct 2011 he was coming here in philippines and that is his first time He was saw his son,and that time only he start support to my son till Feb10 2012,and now make me worried and confused because i sending him a lot emails every day every night BUT he doesn't reply to all my emails,and i was trying also to calling his landline but only answering machine,i leave him message But still no reply from him:(,i really need his help to support my son,im only poor woman and cant afford enough to support my son needs:( Please help me what should i have to do?do i need to go court for help?can i have a lawyer just for free?thank you so much....God Bless U all....:)
Posted on Fri, Apr 27th 2012, 05:50


i have a daughter she is 11 yrs 6 month now.when she was 8 yrs i took her to her fathers mom so that i can be able to sort my life out,and that time i took her there i was still leave with her june 2008 i left my exboyfriend due to abusive i was geting from.then my daughter she stayed wth his mom for three years but i used to go and see her all the time.then in 2011 i took her back to come and stay wth me her here in johannesburg but she use to go and visit her father on school daughter she start stiling money from from me and when i keep asking her why is she doing like that she told me that her father told her that she mst take my money.she use to tell me alot wht her father say and then last time she take my R300 i did beat her which is rong but how can i desciplne her when my ex his poisining her mind.ok now 4 week ago she told me that she want to go and leave wth her father i did alow her to leave wth him so dat she can see what kind of a man he is and i thought myb she will come back when she is tired now what happnd is my ex went to school and say he want to take my daughter out and take her to another school to leave wth to his mom again .now his tired of her and his not used to suport her im thnking to take the matter to court now cos his turning my daughter against me now.and his does not knw how much is a school uniform or stationary he jst wnt tomake my life in leavng hell.DO I HAVE A CHANCE TO GET A CUSTODY FOR MY DAUGHTER?
Posted on Thu, Apr 26th 2012, 17:27


I split with my Ex 2009 he ignored my child for several month, after this he got intouch requesting contact which i allowed he and we tryed medication Mediation broke down after the third week he didnt turn up, he then disappeared again sending my child no presents for his birthday or xmas, He then got in touch in March all this fathers for rights i aggred to one last chance him and his family were strangers so i stayed present and met up when my ex got another girlfriend his attitude changed and he requested he saw the child alone i agreed to this but unfortunatly the child didnt feel confident enough an got really upset i have since recieved a letter saying he requires contact 5 month later from a solicitor please help i am scared what could happen i dont want my child to lose his trust in me by sending him but i am also not putting up a barrier when my child has refuse to go on a couple of occasion the child has witnessed verbal abuse toward me maybe this is why hes scared to go i dont know please help or advise....
Posted on Wed, Apr 25th 2012, 13:18


I have a 10 moth old child. Her father and I were never married and I was 17 when I got pregnant and he was 19. We broke up shortly after I got pregnant, and I started with my current Fiance'. I hadn't talked to him for 3 months before I gave birth and then he showed up at the hospital at 12 am. He seen her three times for the first 3 weeks of her life and I haven't heard a thing from him since. He hasn't paid any child support at all. We had it all laid out, what he was going to pay and how often he could see her, he only had one day a week where he wasn't busy, so we set that day. I never said he couldn't do more. I'm afraid to go after him for child support because I don't know what he's going to do after. Can I get into trouble for cheating on him while I was pregnant? ( bad I know). I was only two month's pregnant and I wanted out of the relationship so bad but I was afraid of what it would do to the baby's life. I need to get some kind of help because I can't get onto Medicade if he's not paying child support. What right's does he have? He's not on the birth Cert, he's not shown anywhere in any of her documents. I can't provide for my daughter and I need to get my GED so I can get a job, but I need a way to support here in the meantime. How long do I have to wait before my Fiance' can adopt her if the father never has anything to do with her? He's been a father for her since day one, and her real dad hasn't done anything for her. Nothing. Do I have to take him to court? Do i have to get a Paternity Test? Help please!!
Posted on Wed, Apr 25th 2012, 08:39


my friend brian got his girlfriend pregnant and he wants to leave her would he have to pay her medical bills if he did?
Posted on Wed, Apr 25th 2012, 03:26


Hi, I have a little boy out of Wedlock. He is about 8 months old now, I was suppose to get married last year, but i cancelled the wedding as i realised my life would be hell with this man. He is a violent man, had pushed me around when i was prgnant, even threw me to the kitchen floor when i was 5 months pregnant. He has left several bruises on my arm which people at my work are witness to. I have tried kicking him out and had him removed several times, but he has keys to my place, and always comes back, and i have told him several times i dont love him and want out. he just laughs and says i am hormonal, and he loves me. I want to move out and find another place for me and my baby, what rights do i have with regards to him demanding to take the little one on weekends etc. My baby is in my surname. I have caught my fiance with drugs in his cupboard, CAT, and seen him put it in his cigarette. He has stashes of Brandy bottles in his vehicle. He lost his job two months ago and is still not working. When i have left my baby in his care as the nanny was off sick the one day, when i got home i saw my babys bum very red, and know it's because he didnt change his diaper for some time and it burnt his bum. I know he is not 100% fit to look after the baby, and when he takes him to his parents house, the dad smokes around him, and they have a big Boer-bull dog in the house. I dont feel that my child's best interests are in mind when it comes to his parents and him. Please help me !!
Posted on Tue, Apr 24th 2012, 13:25


This is utter bullshit which idiot made that rule especially for kids if a father hasn't supported a child in years he shoul have all rights taken away from him pathetic government sucks in the best interest of a child government should see how an who supported the child going into a different family after many years everything is bull
Posted on Tue, Apr 24th 2012, 07:22


i am a bit confused cos i trust my sons father but not his parents cos his mother has threathened plently of times that she will seperate my son from me when he does go to his father on weekends. my sons father stays in the same yard as his parents and his mother had also said that she will bad mouth bad by my son and she will make sure that my son hates. she has interfered in my marriage and thats why its ended and i have noticed my sons father allows his parents to do as they please with my son. my son is only 3 and he is innocent and any child can be bought off with nice things....PLEASE HELP
Posted on Sat, Apr 21st 2012, 09:01


Is there anyone who could help me? My girlfriend told me she is visiting her mother in the Cape with our 2 year old son and it has been 3 weeks and she says she is not comming back. I live in Durban and cannot live without my son. What are my rights, Please advise on .
Posted on Fri, Apr 20th 2012, 06:30


Can anyone help me with an answer to this ex partner and I were never married but had a baby together who is now 2 years old. We have ended our relationship. He still sees the child and pays maintenance. I would like to relocate from JHB to DBN as I would be closer to my own family as well as have a chance to start a new life away from this man {although he is a good father, he is emotionally abusive to me and keeps wanting to leave the relationship and then come back} I have no problem with him seeing our child but really feel it would be better for me and in turn my child to start a fresh in a new city. What does the childrens act say about relocationg? would I need his permission?etc
Posted on Thu, Apr 19th 2012, 22:05


l am a single mom of 2 kids. The father and i were not married. Its been a yr since our split and no contribution made from his side neither. Since i am unemployed, i have had 2 ask him 2 take care of them 4 the past 5mnths,as he refuses to pay me any monies. Recently he had taken me 2 social services 2 gain custody of them,however i didnt consent and had instead drawn up a parenting plan.despite our agreement made for him 2 sort to our kids until i find employment,i am scared that i will not get my kids back again since he has already filed 4 custody,and the only reason that they are with him is because i am unemployed and he fails to pay maintenance leaving me in a position 2 leave the kids with him.
Posted on Wed, Apr 18th 2012, 22:59


I am a 24 year old I have a child she's 4 years and my fathers baby wants nothing to do with her child, he lost his job when our child was 10 months then he went to kleinmond to look for a job. After a month he called to say he"s working but still he doesn't support the child. I havebeen thinking of applying for child maintenance but my problem is that I don't know where is currently working. So now I need to know if the court will be able to assist mem
Posted on Wed, Apr 18th 2012, 09:58


You see women whose child fathers are present in their lives, You are really lucky. Because for two years my child's father successfully supported my child after that sometimes. Right now I am in a dilema because I am a full time student, part time worker and he doesnt help me. I have threatened him with the court but he says he doesnt care. when there is a high rate of juvenile delinquencies sometimes I know why
Posted on Tue, Apr 17th 2012, 23:50


my husband has a child with another woman. 14 years ago when the child was born my hubi gave her every month money for the kid. but when he asked to be a part of the child's life she moved away, so he stopped paying her after a year. then after 7 years she returns saying the child wanted to see who he was and bring her to visit, which he did and spoilt her by buying gifts. thereafter the mother disappeared again. few years later when we were on holiday, she called and said that the daughter wants to meet him and spend time with him. he agreed and spent quality time with her. this mother only calls when the child needs something. now after many years again she has gone to court claiming R3000 per month. What rights does he have over the child because i dont think she can manage financially.
Posted on Tue, Apr 17th 2012, 15:30


In 2001 I met my current husband, my daughter was 6 and my son was 18 months old. I left my ex husband when my son had just turnded 1. Now 11 years later my ex husband has only seen his children 3 times and resides in the US. He pays maintenance but not what the courts awarded me and it has never increased over the past 11 years. My current husband has provided for my children financially and has been a father to them. Taken them to school on their first day, rushed them to hospital when sick in the middle of the night, and loves and cares for them as if they were his own. We are now immigrating to another country because he can give them a better future and the problems we have encountered seem to unfair! He actually has no say over them what-so-ever! All he wants is the very best for them and the authorities don't acknowledge this. I would love to have changed their surnames but have always hoped in the back of my mind that one day their biological father would want to take an interest in their lives. My ex husband granted me full custody of the children, can't I have their surnames changed???
Posted on Tue, Apr 17th 2012, 12:09


My husband has another child with his ex girlfriend. the ex calls every month demanding for money when i called her and advised her to take the matter to maintance court she said her status does'nt allow her to go to court but she keeps calling and my husband does not give her any money for the child and he also does not want to go to maintance court to maintain the child. The ex girlfirend suggested that i may be the one to deposit the money to her personal bank is it the right thing for me to maintain the child?
Posted on Mon, Apr 16th 2012, 12:07

Alistair Sharp

My wife's son was born in South Africa 4 years ago and she never included the biological father on the birth certificate. The biological father is not an SA citizen (he is Namibian) and has been made aware that he is the father by means of emails, text messages and phone calls, but he has never once paid any child support, or visited his son, or even expressed any interest in his well being. My question is: can we change her son's surname from her maiden name to her married name (my surname) without his consent? I've been his 'dad' from when he was 9 months old, and have just recently married his mom. How would he be able to assert his rights, will it have to be via a SA court?
Posted on Mon, Apr 16th 2012, 10:11


i am so sick of fathers who dont know what that word means... i was engaged to a total dueche.. the whole time i was pregant he went from girl to girl and yes even guys and claimed he worked he talked of a older woman who was engaged to a friend of his how she was so rich if she had the chance he would jump at it cause he doesnt like to work.. but i was naive and thought he worked hahah i didnt know how he got his money was because he stole stuff... after my daughter was born i found everything out kicked him to the curb he never bothered to try to see my daughter until she was 6 months old and he was engaged to the old hag .. who never had a child but wants to be mommy to mine.. the magistrate was a close friend of his the prosecuter is a dueche i gave him tapes of him having sex with minor girls and he was suppose to prosecute him instead he is a friend of his and he told him and im screwed needless to say he has threatened my life and my families more then once through my daughter at me when she was 1st born.. left bruises which i have pics of on me and he has a back ground of endangering a child violence dui's robbery etc.. he now is being investigateed for breaking and entry along with distruction and also got caught poaching and is being sued for faulty workmanship .. but he gets to spend time alone with my daughter and he never paid for a thing nor does he have to.. i feel the town i live in is corrupt and i have no way to leave or get basically screwed and my darling daughter has to pay the price of being around a dueche bag like him... i pray he never hurts her which i do fear he will.. he had her for 2 hours and within the 2 hour period he bathed and changed her cloths 5 freaking times.. so how do i get the right help and how does guys like him get away with what they do? also advice to all women to do back ground checks on the guys you become envolve with.. take it from someone who learned the hard way...
Posted on Mon, Apr 16th 2012, 05:39


Well you talk about fathers will be jailed for not paying and I do not have a problem with that but is it right for the mother to keep your child from you I have seen my child for The 1st time at age 2 the mother ran away with a nother man and got married one month before my child was born. They moved from town to town got a restr order that at the end was a lot of .. And the court did not grant it They know that is is my child and sed so in the order they reg by child under her stepfather as berlyn I have till today got about 16 hours with her she will be 3 in 20 days not my father or mother or half brother have seen her How is this I'm a good father have a son age 11 of proof to this Why don't you mention that this is CHILD ABUSE for mothers doing this to the children My child does not even know that I'm the father I want to be with my child and am missing out on every thing and it is not right The mother is doing every thing in her power for me not to c my child
Posted on Thu, Apr 12th 2012, 21:43


I am a single mother of a 12 year old girl.Her father has not paid maintenance for her since she was born.She lives in durban with my parents and I live in johannesburg.I provide for her and arrange for her to visit on school holidays.I was told that i can only go to apply for maintenance for her when she comes to live with me. can i also claim for all the past years which he has failed to pay for her upbringing.
Posted on Thu, Apr 12th 2012, 19:26

Tim Schronen

I am father to a 10 year old son born out of wedlock. I contribute maintenance and am actively involved with my child. The mother is unemployed and has sent the child to stay with me. This action will require significant changes to be made to accomodate him. My concern is that she may want him back in the short term leaving me with ardeous financial committments which are superfulous. How am I able to secure myself from a fickle descision she may make? Is there any agreement that I can ask her to sign to prevent this situation? My son is very eager to live with me.
Posted on Tue, Apr 10th 2012, 16:48


My fiance has a 4 year old son who currently lives with his mom..they were never married or paid any lobola..they just dated as girlfriend and boyfriend.My fiance had visitation rights and took the child with him to his place..but ever since he paid lobola for me the mother has denied him excess to the child,claiming that he must pay lobola to her family even though he doesnt love her..My fiance pays child mantainance every month,but they dont allow him to see his son..He has reported the matter in court,but nothing has been done..I just need to know wht steps he should take and if i have any role to play in all this??
Posted on Tue, Apr 10th 2012, 06:46

Geneveve Sampson

Hi, My son is 1 years old and his father has not been involved or seen him since he was 4 months. The father's sister however help to maintain him as they do not want me to take him up for maintenance. When my son was born i registered him under his father's surname as we were about to get married, but we are no longer together due to his drug abuse. I want to change my his surmane but his so called father is giving me the run around. how do i go about changing his surname as i feel he does not want to be apart of his life.
Posted on Mon, Apr 9th 2012, 14:12


Posted on Wed, Apr 4th 2012, 05:48


Hi I'm currently pregnant was only with the father for the first 2 months of my pregnancy and a month prior to finding out I was pregnant we just didn't work as a couple we are still good friends and I wish to give our daughter his last name because he is apart of his family and I'm not going to keep her from him I was just wondering if he is still allowed in her life with no limit to how often he can see her and such do I have to claim maintenance he has pretty much bought all of her stuff we do not live together and we are no longer a couple but we are still close friends can I chose not to claim or is it compulsary for the father on the birth certificate to pay???
Posted on Tue, Apr 3rd 2012, 10:15

Roxanne Dahrmalingam

Hi i am a single mum and my son is 7 years old.I received a call from an attorney representing my son's father saying he want to fight for visitation rights yet i have never stopped him from seeing his son.He has not paid maintainance for our son at all in the last 7 years.The father and i were not married.What are my rights and what rights does the father have.
Posted on Mon, Apr 2nd 2012, 15:37


My daughter has passed away, what rights do I have to see my Granddaughter. She was not married to the father but he now wants to take my daughter away and dictate my visitation, can anyone who has been in similar circumstances help ?
Posted on Sat, Mar 31st 2012, 16:41


Me and my ex was happy until we get knocked up. So split up. While I was about to have my ex baby I got married and my husband signed the paper work at the hospital. He knows the child not his. Now 3 yrs later the sperm donor wants to get in my child life. And my husband adopted him. He asked if he could start paying child support will that mess up the adoption?
Posted on Thu, Mar 29th 2012, 08:17


I just am venting a skosh. I sit and take inventory of all the mistakes I made personally and the guilt of the effects it has had on my children is so severve that I,well The emotions and sadness cannot be described. Then, inventory of how other human beings are so decietful and use the fact that I have many mental health issues to continue to gain more and more for themselves and now it has come to I have no contact at all woth my youngest daughter in 3 years. And I choose to stop telephone contact with my oldest because she has been programmed to be just as deceptive as her father and atepmother and all their friends. I digress, but I want to say social networks are not my friend because I know that so much bullshit goes around and advice on how to derail and maintain the parents that others should look at take note of their God Given mad skills of parenting.....karma
Posted on Thu, Mar 29th 2012, 08:00


I got pregnant with my daughter when I was 17, I am now 18 and she is almost 4 months old.. Recently my babies father left me and my daughter for the 6th time.. His excuse this time is that he never loved me and I was just a lay, we lived together for 11 months, my daughter is on my parents blue cross and healthcare, along with my parents have bought her mostly everything because I am still a student finishing up highschool and her father bought a crib, mattress, and formula occasionally. Her father never texts me back, nor calls. So I can't trust him with her, also he has many friends who does drugs and I don't want her there, her father and I both have a drug past but I was long done that before I was pregnant a good two years, and her father smoked weed and drank quite a bit while I was pregnant, he already has a dui on record, he doesn't see her as is, nor wants to interact with her when he sees her anyway, I really just want to know how he can only see her at MY apartment or in a public place, cause who knows where he would take her and he won't contact me as is little own after we go to court. Thanks.
Posted on Wed, Mar 28th 2012, 05:16


I personally think that if an unmarried couple has a baby together the father should automatticaly get visitation rights to the child. He helped make the child he should have more rights and should not have to pay loads of money just to be able to see his kid. I know many mothers that use their child against the father, if he doesnt do what they want they say they will never get to see the child again. This is wrong a father loves his kid just as much as the mother and should not have to be tormented by not being allowed to see his kid because the mom gets mad.
Posted on Wed, Mar 28th 2012, 03:44


Posted on Tue, Mar 27th 2012, 15:57


Ace since u love ur daughter so much why dont you marry the mother and get it over and done with, stop defending yourself with ur traditional beliefs that the family should have brought your girlfriend to your family and blah blah, why is it that us women we have to always be the ones running to yo'll families. step up and do whats right for ur little one, theres nothing to lose.
Posted on Tue, Mar 27th 2012, 14:49


I’m a 28 year old guy who had a child with a 20 year old woman. We expected the mother to be angry and disappointed because no mother expects their child to have a kid at 20 and out of wedlock. My girlfriend gave birth to a beautiful baby girl on the 3rd Jan 2012 and seemed like all would be fine as I arrived the next day. I made sure that my girlfriend's mother does not spend a cent of her money because I wanted to show her that I am going to step up and take full responsibility. The problem started when I wanted to see my baby, the first issue was that I had not paid for damages. According to culture my girlfriend's family need to go to my house and report the baby's arrival and also set their price however none of this took place, never the less I told myself that I will take care of my child and deal with the culture issue when my girlfriend's family decide to attend to it. I also tried to speak to my uncles to go to my girlfriend's family instead of waiting for them to come to which they refused as that would not be following culture. I carried on taking out money for my child regardless as i did not want my child to suffer because of cultural politics. In January 2012 my gf had to leave the baby with her mother as she had to go back to varsity to finish her studies. Hardly a week after her arrival the mother started complaining that she could not sleep because the baby kept on waking her up.... oooookay, I thought that's what babies do... any who she fetched her cousin who is looking after the baby which was no issue yet she kept on complaining. My mother approached her and offered to raise the baby which she refused. Now before I carry on let me also mention that my gf and I are both from PE and stay in the same street so our families know one another very well. In light of this I had suggested that the baby is looked after at my house during the day as there is a nanny available 24/7 to which my gf's mother refused for some odd reason. On the first month she demanded that I pay the nanny that she had hired without communicating with me to which I refused on the basis that had she spoken to me I would have done it, never the less my mother told me to pay half of it for the sake of peace which I did. She then told my gf that because she cannot sleep she is going to send my baby off to stay with the lady that is looking after her, again without communicating with me. Now note that the lady stays in a squatter camp somewhere... I asked my mother to go check out where my daughter was moved to and guess what she has been giving my mother the run around ... suggesting that she also does not know... Prior to my baby being moved, I aksed my mother to approach her and offer to hire a sleep in nanny at my expense to eliminate the fact that she could not "sleep" to which she refused again.. I feel very powerless at this point as she has proven to me that she can take decisions without consulting with me and there is nothing i can do about it.. I have been in contact with a lawyer who advised me that the primary care givers are me and my girlfriend however I sense that my girlfriend is terrified of her mother so much that we fight when I ask her to ask her mother how the baby is.. I feel like I’m fighting a loosing battle as I am being denied contact to my child, she has been moved to stay in an unsafe place when I am capable of providing better for my child, culture card is being used even thou they have not followed protocol and I am made to feel like a useless father.. What can i do..?
Posted on Mon, Mar 26th 2012, 17:11


Neil I am nearly done with my daughters mom. She changed Layla's surname from mine to hers without my consent. I hav applied for full parental rights for now. Next step is full custody. I pay all Layla's things yet I just see her 7hours a week. Iys a struggle every weekend as she must get use to my family,bt the worst part is taking Layla home. She cries and screams after me.And all her mom dus is shut the door. I even had 2 see my kid thru burgalar gate as she ddnt want me in ther house. Got a protection order full of lies and wen I went 2 pick up my daughter,she locked me inside the house and infront of our child said : Now u going to jail. If u need helpi could assist u with a lot of info and advocates and lawyers I used. Our constitution shud give father of kids born out of wedlock full parental rights aswell. My contact details are Carlos McPherson - 0733814924, I am at the point of ditching my career as a boilermaker and study family law and help fathers like me. God bless. Neil I hope to hear from you. Did you know shud a mother deny u the right to see ur kid its child abuse. And any court is a childrens court.
Posted on Mon, Mar 26th 2012, 14:35


Me abd my girl friend have six kids four of wich are mine and two that are not we were living in the island and we got in a fight and she took kids out of province and now i have no contact now for two weeks and her parents are doing everything they can to nit let me contact my ex they are contrloing the situation so she cant come back to me we are in are 30s i dont ni what to do or who i see do i go to police and say my kids have been kidnapped or what do i do
Posted on Sat, Mar 24th 2012, 18:44


@Johan Uys: Please do a search on Google for Section35, there's a website and lots of information for fathers to have access to their children.
Posted on Thu, Mar 22nd 2012, 15:27


Hi, I need urgent help or advice as soon as possible. I am in fear that I will lose my son. His mother and I had a relationship. We were like oil and water, I was afraid to leave her during her pregnancy so I stayed for our child. I decided to end the relationship after my son was born. I know that I don't want my son growing up in a home where his parents put each other through hell. I did not want him to someday feel that he caused our unhappiness if we only stayed together for him. My ex was very controlling and she hasn't stopped, now she threatens me with keeping my son away from me. She has turned my mother against me with her threats. I while after we broke up I have moved on, as did she. I am now engaged and things got worse. My mother has no interest in giving my fiance a chance cause my ex has said that if my fiance goes near our son or my mothers home, I will never see my son again. My fiance has nothing to do with the break up between my ex and I but she is convinced that my fiance ruined her life. I left her and not our son, I see him every week and he spends weekends with my family and sleeps over for days. My ex said I choose this life so she will tell me what I can and can not do and if I get married I will never see my son. I am not going to allow my ex to use my son for her selfish needs. I do what i must for my son and I will always do so. I am blamed when he is sick, at first if she found out I was visiting my fiance, my ex says my son would be sick. My son is a year old now and he hasn't been rushed to a hospital since the dust of our break up has settled. I wouldn't take him away from his mother, that would be cruel. I need help urgently please. From cape town
Posted on Tue, Mar 20th 2012, 18:23


Me and my girl friend met in 2009 things started pretty much well but in 2010 and 2011 things went up and down for us.her mom make aborted 2 pregnants without my agreement. This year she moved in with me and she's 4months pregnant now. How wedding is about a month plus ahead May 1st. Her mom visited my apartment 5times this month. Two days ago I went to work when my unborn child mother called me for help that her mom with her so called boy friend came to my apartment and took her away forcely. I've looked for her every where I could but no where to be found. Please tell me what can I do? She's chinese and I live in china, I want justice.
Posted on Mon, Mar 19th 2012, 20:44


Hi,I'm in a relationship with my baby's father and our baby is 4 months, my boyfriends parents wants the baby to go stay with them and its very far from me,I want to know if its possible for them to fight for custody of my baby and win it? They are very rich and I think they can get the best lawyer that I can't afford,my boyfriend en I are still in university.
Posted on Mon, Mar 19th 2012, 01:24


I really do need advice, I have a son staying with his uncle, he was born out of wedlock, they got him passport without me knowing, I really don't know what to do, I'm not even keen for my child staying with his uncle, since he was born everyone made me feel like I was incompetent, I really dont want to go to court I can't afford a lawyer I'm at wits end because I really do want my child staying with me, but his fathers family has a lot of money and made it clear that they will get the best legal team, there's alot more to this story that I can't mention now, I just want to know where I can get help to get my child back with me
Posted on Sat, Mar 17th 2012, 02:10


I recently lost my fiance. We met in 1988 and got engaged in 2004. We have been together since until he died 3 weeks ago. We have no children together (i.e. he has children and I have none). Now that he has passed away, what rights do I have as his fiancee. Please help me I need to know so that if there's anything I need to do, I am aware. Thank you (Maria)
Posted on Wed, Mar 14th 2012, 17:35

Johan Uys

Good day,my son is been kept away from me by his mother.He was born out of wedlock.Everytime I try and make contact with his mother to make arrangements to give her money towards my sons life she refuses me and made false statements at the police stating that I am stalking her!I have moved on with my life and are seeing someone else and she can not handle the fact that I moved on.there is a court case,but only on the 16th of April.This is a protection order,but every little detail is false.Now i must wait untill then to maybe see my son!!her mother has a big say in her life.
Posted on Mon, Mar 12th 2012, 14:07


i left an abusive relationship of 20 years and was granted a divorce in 2009. We met with the family court and joint custody was given to us of our then 16 year old daughter. She spent every two weeks with me and my boyfriend and two weeks with him. However my ex hated my boyfriend and did everything in his power to ensure my daughter felt the same. she eventually rebelled against everything I tried to instill in her and it was becoming more and more difficult to get her settled in nafter her staying with her father. She eventually decided at the end of 2009 that she wanted to go live with her father as he was more fun (he allowed her to drink) took her to restaurants and pool bars, his house had ADSL and DSTV and was closer to her school for her matric year, all the material things I could not compete with. My husband stopped paying maintenance immediately. this resuted in me moving out of my home as I could not afford to stay as the only reason I was allowing my boyfriend to live with us was so that my daughter's life would not be disrupted by a move to a smaller home etc. i foolishly allowed this as this is what she wanted and I was told by the family court that this was always a possibly. Our daughter went into matric in 2010 and within the 1st 6 months was expelled from school for drinking alcohol on a school trip. My ex husband systematically drew a wedge between my daughter and I because he wanted total control over her. they now live in Cape Town in a luxury apartment on Blouberg beach. My daughter is in 2nd year at City Varcity doing Professional Acting for film and Television. We have restored our relationship somewhat even though it is a long distance one. Our divorce agreement which my husband drew up states that he would be responsible for her education, medical etc. He stopped paying me maintenance so that he could cover her expenses while living with him. Now almost three years later, 3 weeks before my wedding to my boyfriend who is now my fiance I receive a letter demanding recompensation of maintenance for the period she lived with him prior to her 18th birthday and her expulsion from school? He is an owner of a business that I helped him build (I worked with him for 20 years). He was abusive and raped me repeatedly while we were married. I had to walk away with a meager settlement that all went to buying a little car and paying my lawyer's fees. I had to start over again in the work place and have in the past three years managed to work myself into a good position within a company. He lives a high flying live in a luxury seaside flat costing about 12k a month (my entire take home salary) and he is asking for 15k in compensation? Can he do this?
Posted on Sat, Mar 10th 2012, 18:15


i am a single mother of a handsome 2 and half year old. The father and i were never married. I kicked the father out due to neglegence of my son when he was seven monthes old. His father di not feed my son for 12 hours straight while i was at work. I tried to be nice to the father but all he ever wanted to do was argue with me after he moved out. Well the father up and moved out of state 3 days before his first birthday, And i have not heard from at all till now and my son is 2 and half. Now out of the blue he is wanting my son for the summers. The father has never helped with damages since he was born. I dont want my son to go across the country away from me. I dont want the father to be in the picture at all, he cant even keep a job. He gets a job and keeps it about 2-6 monthes tops. What can i do please help me!!!!!!!!!!
Posted on Fri, Mar 9th 2012, 07:15


Hi I am a father who has been taking care of my daughter from the year when she was 3 years old up untill now she is 8 years now. I payed the damages and I have done all that a parent should do to a child. I want to know if I can succesfully change the surname of my daughter to be mine since the mother is nowhere in the picture and her parents both died and the remaining brother or uncles refuse to speak with me about her whereabouts. I only hear from her friends that she is married with some other guy in Soweto but she is also not trying to keepin touch with her.
Posted on Tue, Mar 6th 2012, 21:27


My niece has a nine-month old son born out of wedlock. The father of the child wants nothing to do with her and did not support her emotionally or financially during her pregnancy. From the day the baby came along he wants to exercise his rights as the father. He's making her life miserable by sending legal documents for her to give him rights to the baby. She doesn't want him to be part of their little world since she can support her child. Please advise.
Posted on Mon, Mar 5th 2012, 21:41


Hi. I have a 3 year old daughter. Her father seems not to be interested in her, as he has not visited her for the past 21/2 years. I do not trust him around her. I want to know where can i go to obtain full custody with him forfeiting his full parental rights. Please advise.
Posted on Sun, Mar 4th 2012, 21:42


I want the baby to have her dads last name but i don't want him to come and take her from me and no we are not married.... He haves this new girl and i don't want my baby around her what can i do so she not.....
Posted on Sun, Mar 4th 2012, 04:43


I have a 19 yr old who is still at school, her father passed away in 2009 and she got about R25000.00 from the Mater of the High Court in Grahamstown after I went to see a Social Worker. I am struggling to pay her varsity fees and am not sure if she is entitled to get something from her late father's insurance policy pay-outs or not. How do we find out? Where can she go to claim? Please assist
Posted on Fri, Mar 2nd 2012, 11:23

Lorraine Shikwe

I have a child with a married man but the time i realise that i was pregnant were we no longer in a relationship, so now the wife knows that he's got a child out side their marriage. I'm no longer seeing him but she's busy sending me sms's swearing at me & secondly they don't give me money to buy for the child the'll just go & buy what they think i need, they don't even ask me what does the baby need. When my baby is sick i take her to local government clinics couse i'm unemployed, he told me before he can put her on a medical aid he's gonna have to do blood test. I want them to stop harassing me i was alone when i was pregnant i have never asked him for anything. Please help where can i go for help.
Posted on Mon, Feb 27th 2012, 07:07


Hi.i got an 5 month old baby.when i found out i was pregnant the father left me.ever since she was borned i cared for her on my own.nw the grandmother wants the child 2 cum over 2 thr house bt i said no if they wana c her they need 2 cum over 2 my house.the father doesnt pay any thng towards the child.i need advise on wat 2 do
Posted on Sun, Feb 26th 2012, 11:01

wayne van Wynngaard

My girlfriend recently moved out of our house with my unborn child, my son is due in May 2012, she has told me and other people that she does not want the baby ! What can i do to gain full custody of my son when he is born ? Everyone i talk to says that is going to cost thousands to even attempt such a legal battle ! Any advice/guidance please ?
Posted on Fri, Feb 24th 2012, 14:07


Advise please- my brothers ex girlfriend dont want him to see his 6 month old baby. But he support him with everything of the best. He realy loves his child! What can he do?
Posted on Tue, Feb 21st 2012, 22:38

Rachel Swanson

Im a married woman,mother of two teens,currently in a fight with my husbands x who received 3 INCRIECES in six months with the help of a court lawyer.I have to survive on my own income,cause my husbund just cant contribute.Need advice urgently
Posted on Mon, Feb 20th 2012, 22:06


Hi, Im a 26 year old parent of a 2 year old. I had my child out of wedlock and registered my child with his fathers surname. We recently broke up and I want to change the surname to mine. How do i go about doing that?. The father also recently said he has cut out his child from his life financially, what are my rights on this as well?
Posted on Mon, Feb 20th 2012, 12:43


I just want to know what can i go and do to get money from my babys father im a single mom and i work really hard to look after my baby but i feel like im not the only one that made this baby and he needs to start paying up...can someone pleaase direct me to a sit were i can go and read on how to do this..
Posted on Mon, Feb 20th 2012, 12:05


Hi im a 22yr old female expecting my baby in about 2months. I am a south african citizen. My babys daddy is not from south africa.he's from barbados.hes wont be here for the birth and registration of our baby.we want our baby to have the fathers surname,but is that allowed in s.a if the father is not present at the time of registration?or will i need any documents of my babys daddy. Please advise...
Posted on Thu, Feb 16th 2012, 14:16


Hi, i'm a the father of a e year old boy, not married to his mom, and not going to happen. she really makes difficult to have a relation with my son, accoding to their customs damages must be paid, i;ve been trying to do that but her family and her keep giving me the run around, now i can't see my son and spend time with him. don't know what to do anymore, every time i try to reach out, nothing happens.
Posted on Thu, Feb 16th 2012, 07:52


My husband left me 4yrs ago ,we still married on paper but he hardly come home too see our 9yrs old daughter .He gave mentainance every month .Can the law make him also come and be responsible for her daughter..
Posted on Thu, Feb 16th 2012, 05:57


Please advise. i am 6 months pregnant. the unborn's father and i were dating but we broke it off before i discovered that i am pregnant. he refuses to be part of the child's life and denies he is the father. he even told me to have an abortion. the problem i am experiencing is he is from croatia and me south african. what are my chances of maintenance or legal advise i could possibly get, so he doesnt walk free from not supporting me financially?
Posted on Mon, Feb 13th 2012, 16:44


HI , I am a very proud father of a new born baby boy born out of wed lock. it has been an absolute battle with the mother to have visitation to see my baby. however our attorneys have discussed with each other and have come to the conclusion that i will see my baby and am MORE than delighted with that out come. Now i have to obviously have a reasonable parenting plan drawn up which i have done and need both parties to agree and sign. My question is , When is it suitable for the father to take baby for an hour or so without her supervision baring in mind that she is breast feeding ? my ex is saying i cant have that type of contact until he is 7yrs old ? i feel i should be able to take him from when he is finished breast feeding , or realistically is that a bit much to ask ? secondly how long can a mother breast feed for or what is a suitable age for the baby to stop breast feeding ? PS : i have an attorney but id like to know what is best for baby as attorneys like to fight this and i would prefer to do this amicably . Regards, Craig
Posted on Mon, Feb 13th 2012, 15:22


Hi, i was engaged to my sons mother many years ago we never married. Im now married and so is my ex fiance plus she works and her husband works, my son lives with me half the time (1 week every 2nd week) and we pay for everything he ever needs, transport, clothes, schooling, entertainment including medical aid and all extra medical bills etc. What i want to know is, i pay my ex maintenance every month for what i dont know cause she doesnt spend a cent of it on my son she only feeds him. She rather spends it on her parties (My son told me this plus i know she never buys him anything or pays for anything). They always short of cash as a result of too much drinking. We have bought him things like cell phones that she conveniently then pawns her or the husbands phone then takes and uses his phone, she even pawned the old playstation we bought him cause we bought the latest new xbox 360 for him, she promised to give him the money for it but kept the money and spent it. It got to a stage where we had to ask him to leave the nice things we buy for him here with us. The agreement we have is only verbal that my son spends half the time with us, he is 15 years old now. He wants to live with us full time but he doesnt want to go to court and make things ugly between him and his mother which we understand and dont want either. She does love him and her husband likes my son and they get on pretty well but, they are just not good examples as parents. I cant wait till he finishes school in 3 years time, i would rather give my son the maintenace money when he is 18 untill he can find a job than continue to pay her and support her bad habits. For now is this correct, should i be paying her anything at all?
Posted on Mon, Feb 13th 2012, 11:52


Please advise: I had a baby at the age of 21. When I told my boyfriend at the time. He denied me amd the pregnancy. He ran away. I have since married and both my new husband and my daughter would like to change to his surname. How do I do this since I have no idea where to find the biological father and home affairs is addament that they want written consent?
Posted on Fri, Feb 10th 2012, 16:35


i hv a son whos born 2004 March 10, the father never pay damages (We both Xhosa). hez been lieing to my cousin whom r the close ppl around that hez comin next moth to pay damages as he agrreed that he is his son. but he first said the same story when he ws 3month old until today. sometimes he cals that he want to speak to mi but he doesnt do that. but im thinkin that he doesnt want to pay damages & he will 1day want to take my child as i was reported to his family that im pregnant at the time. and im strugglin to pay up everything as im the only breadwinner at home. So all in all what if he comes when my son is old enough and want to be party of him when he did nothin,he did even bought him nothing or supported him. my son knows him and he is eager to know him. he always keep promising to buy this &that. he is workin at 1 of netcare hospital but he doesnt want to do nothing. that makes mi angry to think about that & he does nothing & i think ther will b time when he want him, i would know how to talk to him or what is right cz my son always speak about him & i tell his father that u messing my sons mind on what u doin to him. i sometimes wish he could just die then i wont hav to think about hez existin in our life.
Posted on Tue, Feb 7th 2012, 16:32


Hi my name is Amanda pain i'm in a very differcult situation at the moment im in the middle of fighting for custody for my child an im comeing to terms of the final hearing of a court case i have very little amounts of loseing costody and i now have no solicitor as i felt i had to get another an put a complant on my solicitor as i felt she was not fighting hard enough for my behalf of my son an as well my public funds have run out an now im stuck with haveing to repossent for myself an i only very little time befor the hearing i dont no wot to do please help me :)
Posted on Tue, Feb 7th 2012, 00:43


No he cannot force u to an abortion and u will get government help, if u move out, u will get child tax credit, housing benefit depending on if u work. Go and speak to your local council.
Posted on Sun, Feb 5th 2012, 12:43


hi iam 30 years old mum not working now and 10 years married i have 3 kids and i found out that i am pregnant now buy my husband dont want any more babys.can he force me to an abortion.if i decided the end the marriage do i will recive any help from the government
Posted on Thu, Feb 2nd 2012, 17:17


My husband has a daughter with his ex, We pay maintence, buy her clothes take and take her out. We try and see her every second weekend if possible. The mother initially didnt want the child to sleep over by us, so we have to pick her up on a saturday afternoon and drop her by 7 or 8pm same goes for sundays. Now the mother feels we dont spend enough time with the child and that we dont pay enough maintemance. My question is what is enough time with the child and what is enough maintenance money?
Posted on Thu, Feb 2nd 2012, 16:31


hi my ex partner stopped seeing his soon 2month ago now he just walked out never been back since wont pay for him but wants to take me court. will i choose the days he gets to see him and what rights do i have???
Posted on Wed, Feb 1st 2012, 21:46


I had an affair with a woman 12 years ago. She got pregnant, but was still married. I was not sure if the baby was mine. She divorced 4 years later. She out of the blue contacted me 6 months ago and let me see my now 11 yr old daughter, who still thinks that her father is the guy who her mother was married to. After spending time with her I am convinced she IS my daughter! The mother wanted to get involved with me again, but I refused, as she is currently in a relationship (engaged for 7 yrs). Her fiancé is good for her and her kids (she also have a 15 yr old son). My refusal lead to her blocking me from all contact again.. All I want is to tell my daughter the truth and pay maintenance. I do not want to hurt my daughter in the process.. Please help me, I want to be with my daughter..
Posted on Sat, Jan 28th 2012, 15:28

louise anderson

My daughter needs help to receive maintanance for my grand child from his father
Posted on Fri, Jan 27th 2012, 04:24


mi husband had a child with another woman before we got married,but now the mother of the child wont let us contact the child after we've mantained him for about two years. she wants us to pay the damage of R20000 and that my huband should pay her for wasting her time. please i need your advise
Posted on Tue, Jan 24th 2012, 21:24


Do I need my fiances signature on our sons birth certificate? I want to use my surname but he won't sign papers unless it's his surname. We are not married. Our firstborn has my surname but because our second is a boy, he is insistent our son takes his surname. I want to marry first before taking his surname for myself and kids. What are my rights?
Posted on Tue, Jan 24th 2012, 12:37


Me and the father of our 4 year old split up 3weeks ago (we were never married) and he wants him every 2nd weekend. Ive never left him with his dad for a night before and really dont want to now. i dont want to keep him from him either so my question is do I HAVE to give im over nights or can it be done with just like a day thing?
Posted on Mon, Jan 23rd 2012, 13:38

Kim Rothwell

I am in a constant battle with my x boyfriend with whom I had a son now 9 and a daughter from a previous relationship who is 11. I moved to Johannesburg my hometown when we split, but he i financially crippiling me and making me live in Capetown for his convenience. I feel as though I am a prisiner to him. Why cant I live in a city of my choice? Its not as though I have left the country.
Posted on Mon, Jan 23rd 2012, 13:05

born single

I have read almost every letter posted,l am 16yrs old and lived with a single parent,have any single parent think about what the kid feels when they saw other kids playing with their biological both parents or when they have an activity at school and both biological parents are present,please don,t be greedy with love,because l love and really longed to have a personal relationship ,create a bond learn and understand how and why my parents are not together,have you single parent fighting for custody ever thought of the emotional illness you are implanting on your kids when you gain custody, and take us to grandparent a wanna be welfare center or so called fiancee a wanna be father or a wanna be mother ,come to think about it,in average of school activities,children living with both biological parents do more better than those with single parent.please help us to know the truth and understand our biological parent,not hearing only from single parent and these pretending stepmother and stepfather,THE OF BIOLOGICAL PARENT ARE IN THE BLOOD,not in the heart like stepparent.HELP US GROW WITH LOVE NOT IMPLANTED HATE.
Posted on Mon, Jan 23rd 2012, 12:21


i have two boys out of wedlock and i want to know whether is possible to register their surnames in my surname as they are using their mom's one. i am currently having full parental responsibilities as defined above. how do i go about this???
Posted on Mon, Jan 23rd 2012, 10:54


Hi Please can you answer this question? In short. I have a child with a girlfriend 2 years back. i met her living with her mother, now our relationship is over. she tells me that she is going to live with her uncle's wife about 400Km away from me. she does not want me to see the child and i have been maintaining the child from day 1.Now she tells me that shes going to suck my money and she wont bother to look for a job. how do i live with my child cos i have a stable job, car and just boght a hose? i want my child to have a better future.
Posted on Mon, Jan 23rd 2012, 10:29


The father of my child and I dated and then seperated. I fell pregnant and am now a single mother. I would like to immigrate to the UK but do not know what my rights are. Do I have the right to take my child with me or does the father haev the right to take custody?
Posted on Sun, Jan 22nd 2012, 10:25


Hi,I'm curently 39wks pregnant,me and the baby's fathr got along very well in da beining,bt @4mnths he started avoiding me,nt answering my call or sms.Luckily I'm working and hav a medical aid and since he pledge hs suport tru out the pregnancy(a promise he didn't keep,he never went to any dr app,with me),I didn't mind useing my medical aid,and he wasn't working at dat tym.He resently(2mnths ago) started working,and I hav bought the necessary things for her,and I hav spend over R1600.00,He doesn't call to enquier hw da pregnancy or the baby,he simply don't care.I hav booked at a good hospital for the delivery.I hav a few sonar bills ,that the medical aid willnt pay and ask him to help me pay,he responded he doesn't have money,not"I'm going to help or no jst wait I will figure out something",I dnt want to take him to court,bt seems like dats wat I will have to do.Question is,can I sue him for all expenses I hav encured so far?or wat.This might make him avoid the chld altogether,I dnt want him not to take care of her and later claim her as his,witout responcibilty towards her,that's unfair towards me!Financialy I wil b ok,but I knw I wil nt b able to give her the best she deserve without his input! PLEASE HELP! Thank you.
Posted on Fri, Jan 20th 2012, 14:13


Hi Please can you answer this question? In short, a girl stayed with me and fell pregnant. She left the house and the child was born. She went to court and I had to pay maintenance. It’s been 3 years now that I don’t see the child and I’m still paying maintenance. I see on a social network that she moved in with another guy and fell pregnant again. This time she got married. Her new husband constantly talks about my son as his son. How do I know if he adopted my son and if so do I still have to pay maintenance?
Posted on Thu, Jan 19th 2012, 12:38


If you have a child with your ex husband but you are pregnant by your boyfriend is it legal to live with your boyfriend since your pregnant
Posted on Wed, Jan 18th 2012, 23:04


My daughter is 6 yrs of which her father has never paid maintanance. The firts 2 years f her life he would buy nappies and snax for her daycare and formula. Our daughter stayed with my mother last year. We had an agreement that he would pay R500 to my mother, which he didn't do but still had full excess to my daughter whenever he wished. Now my daughter stays with me, we had an agreement again regarding school fees etc. Which he still hasn't fulfilled. He is a very violent man and disrespectful and abbusive. I refuse to have any communication with him or let him have with my daughter. Whenever I attempted there would be incidences between me and his gf or me and him. I just feel that he knows he has to contribute for my daughters upbringing, but he doesn't find her worthy so why on earth will I continue to force him to be responsible for his daughter
Posted on Mon, Jan 16th 2012, 13:33


Hi there, My oldest daughter (13 years) decided she wants to live with her father. He only pays maintenance for one of the three children. Seeing that I'm unemployed and he says that i'm not giving him anything for her and it evens out only paying for one child. Is he correct in what he says?
Posted on Mon, Jan 16th 2012, 10:51


i would just like to clarify what appears to be an error in this article: 1. parental responsiblities and rights are different to guardianship. unmarried fathers have parental responsibilities to pay maintenance and can access certain parental rights if they do any of the things mentioned in the article. they do not automatically have parental rights. 2. this is different to guardianship, although this is part of full responsibilities and rights. an unmarried woman has immediate guardianship of the child, just as she automatically has full rights and responsibilities. an unmarried father may apply to the high court to get guardianship of the child but this is only awarded if they can prove this is in the best interests of the child and will be based on the relationship he has with the child. this is equated to the old term 'custody'. married spouses both automatically get guardianship of the child but in unmarried situations, the mother automatically gets full guardianship. 'the children act explained' booklet 1 by the department of social development details this more clearly.
Posted on Tue, Jan 10th 2012, 15:12


Hi , I have a 3 year old daughter with my ex girlfriend I been everywhere for help to get my care and contact with my child but there seem to be no help for father on eligitimate children in SA I am getting very frustrated about this , I have contacted the Family Advocate office over a year back already and still no contracts or anything has taken place yet regaring my contact with my child, I have also approached a court and even there I got no help, I am unable to afford it to go to high court, even the social workers in the area says that they cannot intervene, my worry is that I am paying maintenance and love my child very much I want joint custoday of the child how can I apply for this.
Posted on Thu, Jan 5th 2012, 10:53


Good day,in 2007 I & my ex gfrnd had a daughter out of wedlock.we broke up in 2009.she took the child to her sister in the eastern cape & she is now engaged to someone in cape town.I don't have access to my daughter at all.when I ask her about our daughteter.she told me the child is in eastern cape I cannot have her.her elder sister keep promissing to bring the child for holiday & non of that happened.all I am doing is to give her sister the maintainance every month.what can I do to have my daugher's custody worried cape town.she is 6years now.please help
Posted on Wed, Jan 4th 2012, 12:10

doris krupp

My concern is that when parents of a child live together, unmarried and the father leaves with the child and refuses to let any of the mothers family contact him (a 3 yr old). can he be charged with kidnapping?????? The child is my grandson and he spends more time with his mothers family, now he's sees no one that he is familiar with..
Posted on Mon, Jan 2nd 2012, 00:33

Dilano Francis Phillip Lebajoa

Greetings,I Parent of one,a father to a 8 Month old son worried about mother responsibility Not active to our Baby.I am Willing to participate in Full to Give My son Support with Love.I have an Identity Documents Need to apply birth certificate for My son to have Identinty document as his Mother irresponsible in recognising the bothers me a lot.papa lebo'
Posted on Fri, Dec 30th 2011, 01:48


Dear parent, thanks so much for your comments. Please remember this is not a Q&A page and we don't have lawyers who can respond, either personally or online. If you need professional advice, you can find a list of family lawyers here: Please feel free to keep posting your comments - another parent in the same situation may be able to answer you. All the best. Sophia x
Posted on Wed, Dec 14th 2011, 10:13


hello. I have a son aged 20months, the 1st year myself and his father raised him together, although we had a lot of problems with him not even touching him, changing him, the days he spent with him, he took him to the bar. We eventually split up and i moved 1000km away because i couldn't support myself, my dad is helping us out at the moment, i am still unemployed, but i do get a monthly income from my dad for taking care of the house. My son's father didn't help financially for a few months nor did he see our son for 8months, and suddenly when he saw his son for a few hours, he paid in money last month, but now he went to a "welsyn" worker, to get a paper to say he is allowed to come and fetch my son and take him away for a few weeks? Can someone tell me what to do? I told him he can only see our son under supervision, because he has never taken care of him or fed him.
Posted on Wed, Dec 14th 2011, 04:14


i wrote the latest latest letter (posted on tuesday 6 dec)...i needed the answer so desperately.but i have not heard anything from you... it was really you ever answer the letters you get?
Posted on Thu, Dec 8th 2011, 20:38


Hallo..ek soek net bietjie raad. Ek het n seuntjie 3jr oud. Ek en my eks verloofde is nooit getroud. Sy is baie ernstig siek en haar ma wil toesig oor my seun he sou sy afsterwe..maar net so sou my ouers ook my seun wou grootmaak... maar ek wil ook my eie kind groot maak..ek betaal elke maand onderhoud..wat is my regte as ongetroude pa en het haar ma enige aanspraak in die grootmaak van my eks en my kind bly die laaste paar maande by haar ma aangesien sy nie op haar eie na hom kan kyk in haar toestand nie...iets wat vir my baie swaar is om te vra is as sy sou afsterwe hoe lank daarna kan ek my kind in my sorg kry..en wat as haar ma weier om seun aftestaan. Ek is van plan om by my ouers in te trek totdat ek n geskikte plek het aangesien die blyplek wat ek nou het nie groot genoeg is nie.
Posted on Tue, Dec 6th 2011, 09:45


had an affair with a married man... now we have a baby girl... his wife knows and now she wants the baby (11 months to be with her... will the courts allow this... and should i let them spend time alone with the baby, but without me. please help. is it safe to let them keep her overnight.
Posted on Mon, Dec 5th 2011, 15:49

Annette Smith

My son has a baby with his x-girlfriend, he had reasons to beleive that the baby may not be his, a dna test was proformed , resulted in the baby being his. The x-girlfriend went back to her x-boyfriend and gave the baby his last name and denies my son, the baby's father the right to see the baby. She will not answer any of his calls. She says that the x-boyfriend signed the birth certificate and he is now the baby's father. Please help, my son is really torn up and do not know what to do first to rectify this situation.
Posted on Sun, Dec 4th 2011, 22:52


Hi,my son was born outside marriage but he has my name and his father name,a mistake I have made and regret it since.However the father was a notorious gambler believe he still is.I have left the father when my son was 9 months after he had gamble the child milch money.I was working to support the father,the baby and the baby sitter. and I left.We have seen him once again when my baby was 2 and a half trying to give him a second chance but he never stop his bad habits.I have never received financial help or thow I have ask in the begining.The father is back in Uk gettig house and benefits from uk goverment.I am romanian citizen.By romanian law I have the full custody of my son.Now my son is 7 and curious about his father.If we were tho visit his father, can the father take him away from me?
Posted on Sun, Dec 4th 2011, 08:03


I have a baby out of wedlock,she is nw 9months old,the father refuses to maintain her he says its difficult to maintain her because hes nt staying with her,so he can't do anything.he doesn't cum to see the baby at all
Posted on Tue, Nov 29th 2011, 22:45

Jane 1

I had an affair with a married man... now we have a baby girl... his wife knows and now she wants the baby (11 months to be with her... will the courts allow this... and should i let them spend time alone with the baby, but without me. please help.
Posted on Mon, Nov 28th 2011, 15:36


When I got pregnant me and my boyfriends split. He did not wanted to help me, I was unemployed so my only choice was to go Montenegro, Europe where I come from and get help from my parents. Baby was born in Montenegro and now he is telling me I kidnapped our child and he will get full custody and take a child away from me. While I was in USA he never went to any doctors appointments or had anything to do with pregnancy. Also, When i was in labor, my family called him to come but he never showed up. Now, month later he is telling me I will lose her and he will get a full custody. I was 4 months pregnant when I left USA. What rights he has? Will I have to go back to USA with a baby? I know we will not be together so I would like to stay here and raise my child with a help of my family. Also he was against child when i got pregnant. I think he is angry at me and he wants revenge. Thank you
Posted on Thu, Nov 24th 2011, 01:01


Hey, me and my husband was very young when we had our first son and we were not together when he was born, we are married now, my problem is I registered him on my surname and we now want to register him on my husbands surname, can we do that and what do we need, and can I do it as a surprise because it is hurting my husband, and I want to do it as a christmas surprise. Thank you!!! :)
Posted on Wed, Nov 23rd 2011, 14:05


my boy is now 6 years old, born out off wedlock. he stays with me, and dad sees him every second weekend, pays medical aid,and school fees plus R1000 maintanance. I stay in Joburg but want to immigrate to my mother in australia where i can give my son a much better life than here, my problem is the father does not want me to take my son and threathens to sue me then for full costody. What is my rights and what can i do?
Posted on Tue, Nov 22nd 2011, 10:36


I had my son out of wedlock on my own,now 14years later,the biological fathers mother has contacted me saying sheis taking me to court for visitation rights!can she?
Posted on Sun, Nov 20th 2011, 01:37

Du Plessis

My son was born out of wedlock. the farther wanted nothing to do with him and stil today he doesnt want anything to do with him. my son has my surname, the farther has been paying maintenace for the past 10 years by order of the court. I got involved with a man short after my sons birth and has been with him eversince. he is the only "Dad" my son knows and he does everything for my son. We are not married and wont get married as he has been married before with no kids and cant have kids. our relationship is stable and he sees my son ass his own. I would like to change my sons surname to his surname as he has acted as the farther for the past 10 years and also because my son only knows him as the dad. His biological farther has already signed him off two days ago. my question is now: the biological father phoned me and said I must withdraw he court order immediately for the maintanace against him, is this what i have to do or must i wait until the matter is handled off and he is leagally no longer the father ? Can i still keep him resposible for the maintenace if he sighned the child off? please reply
Posted on Fri, Nov 18th 2011, 08:31

m. w.

my daughter was born out of wedlock. Her surname was given up as mine, the father's, as agreed with her mother. 2 years later her mother changed her surname without my consent. How is this possible and why can the lawyers do nothing abiut this? Very concerned father as she can apply for a passport as indicated by her previously.
Posted on Wed, Nov 16th 2011, 16:50


My daughters father hasnt paid any maintenance for the last year. He wont let me change her surname to mine (she was born out of wedlock but i figured we'd eventually be married - silly me). Can i have my surname added to her name without his permission?:?
Posted on Sun, Nov 13th 2011, 12:47


Hi im a father of two n half year old boy iv been awarded primary caregiver to my child by the family advocates now im awaitn my day at the children court curently i having a dilema daily with my baby mum she refuses to keep up to her stipulated time n days of care n contact it seems as tho she doesnt want me to move on but she seen sum1 else what n how must i do to get her to keep to the terms n conditions as per the family advocates
Posted on Sat, Nov 12th 2011, 00:15


I fell pregnant and my partner ran off with someone else, and gave me a hard time throughout my pregnancy. When our son was born he was present at the hospital, he has taken my surname and my ex is the registered father. He then pushed me for a test to id him as the father which came out positive. Our son is 3 months old and now he is trying to exercise is rights as the father. He has presented me with a parenting agreement drafted by a lawyer and paid 4 months maintainence. He wants co parenting rights, I have asked for monies towards the birthband nursery etc. However we do not see eye to eye and he wants to take our son away every second sunday. I have said I agree to nothing. What rights does he? Can he take him away for visits? Do I have to entre into an agreement with him. We do not agree on much, and he is always challenging me. His family are extremely malnipulative and he has threated that he wants to take my son away! Please advise!
Posted on Thu, Nov 10th 2011, 19:56


My partner and I are staying together since the birth of our son. We are not married. He is 10 months old now. The relationship seems to steer to an end. If she moves out with him, there will be many disruptions in his life and her entire family is heavy drinkers, smokers and swears all the time. They stay in a suburb on the Cape flats with all its unruly elements. She is already in my presence shouting and pulling at him. Why can he not stay on with me, where there is a full time nanny, safety, quiet and calm? Do I have to go to the High Court? Please advice.
Posted on Wed, Nov 9th 2011, 08:07


My son is cohabiting with a woman who has given birth to a baby girl. The biological father is not interested in being involved and has refused paternity. My son wants to parent this child. Should he adopt her? Or can he register her in his name without adopting her? I have advised him to adopt but he is scared that the biological father may refuse to allow it out of spite.
Posted on Sun, Nov 6th 2011, 21:14


My brother raised his son since he was a baby, his son is now six years old, and his mother came to fetch him and she is refusing to give him back. is there any legal action that he can take to get his son back in his care? They were never married, but he took full responsibility all the years, the mother only came to visit and fetch him occasionally.
Posted on Fri, Nov 4th 2011, 13:09


I am a single mom and has a child born out of wedlock. The father of my child is wealthy but pays a very small amount maintenance per month. He also does not want to see her or want anything to do with us. All our communication happens through lawyers which I cannot afford! I want to know is it true that I can only apply for more maintenance 6 months after the original court order? Also does maintenance not only count for daily needs of the child? For example what if about the other needs of a child, a simple example a car chair? I simply don't have the money to buy these things. What about medical aid? Can I ask that he is responsible for her day care fees? What about the legal fees I have to incur now due to the fact that he refuses to communicate with us.
Posted on Tue, Oct 25th 2011, 13:38


Hi, I have a 8year old son born out of wedlock. My son`s father are not involved in his life, never paid maintenance or made contact, in fact, my son only knows my husband as his father. My son`s biological father got married 4 years ago, they can not have children, now all of a sudden he wants to pay maintenace and see my son every second weekend and school holidays. I respect the fact that unmarried fathers have rights, but what are my rights?
Posted on Tue, Oct 25th 2011, 13:36


Hi I am a single mum and not married my sons father he is not in my sons life and is not interasted,can i take him without hes permission and he has my surname?
Posted on Mon, Oct 24th 2011, 11:08


Runey go to the court closest to you. You must have his physical address and work address. They will summons him to court on that day you both summit your income and expenses and if you both cant agree on an amount the court will. Thats what I did and I now get maintenance every month now the fight starts for the increase in my case. Oh if he does not pitch for court they will send out a warrent for his arrest. happend with my sons dad haha, I felt bad and cancelled it in the end but the ass got a fright and pitch to the next court date. geez men are assholes. Let me know if you need more advice.
Posted on Fri, Oct 14th 2011, 12:36


Hi, my sons dad left when he found out I was pregnant (never married) I went to court to get a garnishee order and now he is forced to pay. He has been paying for 2 years, is it wrong to ask for an increase? i went to court on monday and have summonsed him to court to see if they can increase it as all costs are going up (med aid, food, nannies fees etc) Now he says at end of October he has left his job. He is in a top position at his company and earns a very good salary, where would a 38 year old male suddenly just leave??? i think he is making this up so he can get out of paying. Not sure what the going rate is for maintenance but I am struggling. If the father cant pay is it true they will then look at his parents? (i have never met them and his family don't know about my son) very sad story)
Posted on Fri, Oct 14th 2011, 11:48


I'm a single parent baby's father left me when i told him that i'm pregnant.since that time he never gave maintenance.My baby's two years old and he still refuse to suport our child.What should i do?
Posted on Fri, Oct 14th 2011, 10:33


i had a problem the father of my baby doesn't want to pay maintanance.what must i do
Posted on Thu, Oct 13th 2011, 15:21


Im an unmarried single mother still arguing with my son's dad about money and seeing the child. Ive never said that hes not allowed to see his son. Now he claims I have a problem with his girlfriend and i dont want him to see his son etc. God is my witness im a sincere honest loving reasonable mother. He knows hes welocome to see his son anytime, yet he only comes evry 3 to 5 months then he remembers his son. Our son is 19 months old. I told him he must build a bond with his son before he can just come get him. and our son still breastfeeds at night mostly. He just wants to stay away for a few months and then pitches up out of nowhere then wants to pic up his son????
Posted on Thu, Oct 13th 2011, 06:51


Hi, I need some advise please. Im unmarried young woman (born and raised in SA) I went to England for a couple of years and got pregnant. My daughter was born (2008) in London and put on the fathers name (pure pressure) I managed to get myself and my daughter back to SA (with official help related to domestic violence) Once in SA, I was branded a kidnapper by the father and was reported to the Hague Convention Children's Act. I was ordered by British Courts to fly back and fight for my daughter which I did from March 2011 - end July 2011 ( the family of the father harassed, tortured and blamed me / had to do a hair strand test for my daughter as the father said i was drugging her, it came out negative obviously) eventually I won the court case with full rights but the father fought for more rights in court, I was ordered to take her to England once a year on a minimal salary. I have to send pictures/videos and drawings every 2 weeks - and dare I miss a day and his lawyers are on me. I have asked him numerous times to help me financially but he just simply ignore it. He harass me online, so i tend to avoid online chats. Id like to change my daughters family name to mine and register her in south africa. I dont know how I can get the father to stop harass and start help instead. please advise anyone? This has been over the period of 2008 - 2011 today. as we speak, he is trying again to get me into court and I am so poor already, scrapping food for my daughter...
Posted on Tue, Oct 11th 2011, 15:27


I.m unmarried and i have not received maintenance for 15 year thats how old my so is. He just refuses to pay maintenance
Posted on Mon, Oct 10th 2011, 22:46


Hello, ek het twee dogtertjies uit my vorige huwelik en het geskei voor die nuwe kinderwet in werking getree het. Ek sien hulle wel elke tweede naweek en dan is dit een groot gehuil as hulle terug moet gaan na hulle ma. Ek is n baie betrokke ouer en betaal baie meer onderhoud as wat verwag moet word. My vraag is kan ek onder die nuwe kinderwet my skikking wysig en aansoek doen om "joint custody" en op watter ouderdom? My dogters is 5 en 10 jaar oud.
Posted on Wed, Oct 5th 2011, 15:52


DIANE- According to my knowledge it is only a must if a court orders you so and if the child is going to school. Before then it is not that the child has to!!
Posted on Wed, Sep 28th 2011, 10:05


I wish i had more gutts. I am a single mother of two boys out of wedlock with two different fathers. In three years my youngest sons father did nothing for him and now all of a sudden he wants to take me to court for visitation rights. He contributes nothing and even said he will sign off parental rights if I can proof the child is his. He had the nerve to say that he wants our son to spend time as much as possible with his girlfriend as she is a part of his life. No tell me if Im wrong would any off you not get upsett? I had brought that child up by myself for three years. My mom helps a lot but the two of us managed for so long. Now he wants to desturb the child by pushing another woman into his life!!! Thats so unfair. Thank the Lord for every days strenght and the precious gifts (children) he gave me. I cannot imagine my life without them and will fight for them till the end of time.
Posted on Wed, Sep 28th 2011, 10:03


I am a single parent who got involved with a married guy. When I realised I was pregnant I told him and he said there is nothing much we can do except to wait for the child come in other words we just had to accept. During the 8th month of pregnancy I got help from a social to have an option to give away the child for adoption and we started the process through a private social worker. Luckily there was already a white couple of doctors who were potential adoptive parents in Cape Town, the social worker called the biological father to come in and sign the papers to relinquish parenthood. He said he would talk to me first before making the app with the social worker, he called me and begged me to keep the child for him. He even said what if this child is a boy since he only had daughters and I was so naive and listened to him and stopped the adoption process. Now he only pays R750 average per month and threatens me with his attorney. He is an upper class calibre and holds a senior managerial position and he owns a company too.
Posted on Mon, Sep 19th 2011, 15:21


My ex left me when my daughter was 10 months old, he has never paid a cent maintenance for her or had any contact with her since she was 3. Now after 11 years he suddenly wants to start paying maintenance and would like to see her. How does that work? Do i just give him access, or is there any laws that can protect myself and my child. My daughter does not want to see her father as she believes he threw her away. I have never belittled him in front of her, but i have told her the truth about our relationship. Can someone please tell me what my rights are, and if i have to let him see her, even though he has not supported her, or made any effort to get to know her? Thx Lorna
Posted on Fri, Sep 16th 2011, 10:31

Sad Step Mother

Hi, I am a step mom, and my husband has a son out of wedlock, the son hasstayed with him and his mom for 6 years, his biological mother has never paid maintance and was out of his life for a period of time, now that we married and want his son to come stay with us and go to school close to our home (35mins) away from her home - she is refusing to let him change school ( she doesnt even pay the school fees) does he have any rights?? she does not what the child to stay with her, she wants the child to stay with my husbands mother.
Posted on Wed, Sep 14th 2011, 15:17

Conserned mother

Hi there I had a baby with a man but we were not married. We split up when my baby was 7months old. I always gave him acces to come and see the baby at my place, but he hardly ever pitched. He still sees her now and then, I guess when he feels like it. He has been paying maintenance for 2 months now after I had to fight for it in court. The baby doesnt know him, for he has never been there. My baby sees my fiance as her dad now and he has accepted her as his own, although he is not the biological father. Now my ex wants to take my baby every second weekend to his house. I am totally against it, for I know my baby and whats best for her. Is he allowed to by law, or can I fight it and only let him see her under my supervision ??? Please get back to me for I am concerned about this matter and only want the best for my baby
Posted on Wed, Sep 14th 2011, 15:14


I am a 32yr old woman who has been together with a man for over a year now, I have had fertility issues and we found out two weeks ago that I am pregnant, it is completely unplanned. My partner is trying to push me to abort the baby, but I am against it, due to my age and the fact that I have fertility issues and may not fall pregnant again. Is he legally allowed to force me to abort, and if I carry to term is he legally responsible for the baby? Please advise. Thank you, mom fighting for her baby.
Posted on Thu, Sep 8th 2011, 11:28

unhappy Dad

Hi guys, my story is as follows, I have a 14 month old son with a ex of mine, all has been going well without contracts. She said to me that she doesn't want maintenance but I've been paying anyway moneys into her bank account with the ref of my son. I see mine once a month cause my work has both day and night shifts and he stays a distance away! She has gotten married since. But my question is @ this age of my son can I take him to a nearby wimpy without his mother or her family to create my own bond with him? She and her family are starting to get really nasty with me so I can't see my son!!! They don't inform me of anything happening in my sons life? When they come to town they don't inform me so I can see my son? They just leave me totally out of his life and trying to get rid of me!!! Pls give some advice
Posted on Thu, Sep 8th 2011, 06:47


I have a daughter who was born out of wed lock whilst I dated her drug addicted father who has been on drugs for over 8 years. I find these new fathers law acts to not be well thought out as my daughter is now forced to be exposed to her father who not only does NOT pay maintenence even though he is working but also does not pay any medical bills or contribute in any way to her emotional stability. She has lived with me the mother from birth and is only 2 years of age now and inthe middle of a very pricy court battle where the drug addicted father is trying to achieve unsupervised visitation along with overnights on weekends as well as wednesday nights! How is this in the best interest of the child??? He comes from a very dysfunctional family as well who pay no support towards the childs well being but also demand rights and access. My take on this is that not only is the father unstable mentally, physically and emotionally but he is also cheap and has PROVEN by his refusal to contribute to the care of the child that he does not have HER best interests at heart but his own wants. I have spent over R20 000 on lawyers fees already and this problem is nowhere near a point, take into account that I am a single working mother who pays for all care of my daughters needs. What gives these druggies the RIGHT??? When we were still in relationship which was up until 6 months ago, he was never around, landed himself injail on the regular, always neglected her to do drugs and showed almost no interest in her and now his shouting rights-infuriating!
Posted on Fri, Aug 26th 2011, 16:10


i have a 18 month old daughter with my ex whom i lived with but i left him and now he is fighting for full custody for our daughter we were never married i want to know what are his chances of winning the case with the new childrens act. i provide a home meals every day education and medical i even granted him rights to see his child every day but he only sees her every weekend on a satuday or sunday and he is diabled as well only got one arm.
Posted on Fri, Aug 26th 2011, 09:40

Daniel Minnie

Please advise as to if a mother of a child, born out of welock, marries a man who is not the childs biological father and the biological father who has parental rights and responcibilities is not informed as to the mother changing the childs surname to that of the new husband. what rights does the biological father have to have the surname changed back to the original surname?
Posted on Mon, Aug 22nd 2011, 20:05

Umar CR

Greetings, I have a serious problem and actually do not know what to do any more: I am a foreign guy, married to a South African Citizen who deserted me few years ago as she realised that I am a Muslim. I do not know her whereabout right now. But I lived with another lady who is also South Africa Citizen for the past 06 years. We have a child, a baby boy since 02 June 2008. I took care of her, her family, her two previous children and my child since. She died on 21 January 2010 after a short illness leaving me with my child and the two step daughters whom I still have custody as they also had no one to care for them. My problem is despite my daily challenges to care for them, I am failing to get a relative permit to stay here and care for my little child. I bought a flat 4years ago on the name of my late partner as we were traditionally married but could not register at Home affairs since the previous marriage remains in the system until I find the wife. Please advise me the easiest and cheapest option. Thank you.
Posted on Mon, Aug 22nd 2011, 12:34


Sunshine - Please can you tell me how to go about - My daughter is 11 now and I was never married to the father, she has my surname. He has never contubuted to her. And he is also not a South African citizen. My now husband and I are looking to go and work in Australia and want to take her with us. Now on my visa application they ask for the biological fathers info, and I have none, I dont even know where he is. What shoul we do?
Posted on Mon, Aug 22nd 2011, 10:16


ek wil net help he ekt 6maande oue dogtertjie ek soek my regte besoek tye en hoeveel keer ek ha mag sien en of ek ha op my eie mag he om verhouding met my dogtertjie te maak en my deel te doen om n pa te wees asb eenage iemand wat my kan help lat weet asb vra mooi van christiaan af want ek baie broebeeme met my ex en ha ouers so asb en dankie
Posted on Wed, Aug 3rd 2011, 20:17


My dogter is ongetroud, toe sy 3 maande swanger is het haar vriend by wie sy woonagtig is haar met lelike woorde weggejaag. Na die geboorte van haar seuntjie het hy nie onderhoud betaal nie en het sy hom gedagvaar, nadat haar seun 5 maande oud is het hy eers begin betaal. Hy het glad geen gelde gegee vir die swangerskap nie. Hy kan die kind een keer 'n week besoek, nou wil hy die kind na sy huis toe neem en weier om die kind by die Mamma meer te sien. My dogter het haar woonstel opgegee, nadat hy gedreig het om haar te slaan en sy vuiste vir haar gewys. Sy woon nou by my en my man, en ons help haar om die kleinding groot te maak. Van watter ouderdom gaan 'n kind alleen na die vader toe, baie bekommerd daaroor omdat hy glad nie eers die kind se doek al geruil het nie. Mag sy weier dat haar kind uit sy veilige omgewing weg gaan
Posted on Sun, Jul 24th 2011, 21:16


Hi your info is great but i would just like to know something. My sittuation is very complex to get into detail but would just like to know the following:- I was married via muslim rite and not in a court of law, I have 3 kids and been devorced via muslim rite for 6 years. who is the primary care giver of the kids and how would i know if the father applied for full parental responisbilities (who would award him that right). I keep getting told that i have no rights were my kids are concerned and i cannot make decisions for them (they are aged 10,12,&14). My daughters live with me and my son who was forced to stay with his father, due to myself and son not knowing our rights, has now decided that he would like to live with me due to the environment becoming volotile and unstable. I would also like clearance on one of the statements regarding If the child is born out of wedlock you need permission to go overseas with the kids, it depends on whether or not the father of the child has parental responsibilities and rights (please clarify) would i need written consent from their father in my sittuation? Thank you
Posted on Fri, Jul 8th 2011, 11:37


I would like 2 understand what I can do in this situation my exfiance and I hav gone our seperate ways n I had askd him if it would b possible for him to give me pertmission to change my sons surname as it needs to be on my surname so I can put him on my medical aid n as I'm pregnant again I don't want my children to hav two different surnames n the reason his surname was put on his fathers now falls under bridge of promise as he promised to marry me and didn't commit to it. I now hav a problem as I can't get hold of him and this extremely important to me now.please help what steps do I take for my children sake.
Posted on Wed, Jun 8th 2011, 20:33


hi there i had an affair with a married woman , we both know is was wrong. this is no excuse to have had an affair. Her marriage was arrange for her by her parents. Her husband is an alcoholic, what she had shared with me that he into porn and she has found material relating to incest porn also she found out that he sets up his cellphone in the bathroom to make video clips of the young girls in the family.She did tell her family about this but they do not want to do anything about it because of a scandal. My concern is the the child that we together her safety and others what do i do plz help .
Posted on Fri, Jun 3rd 2011, 09:56


my boyfriend and i have been together for 4 and half years, our son is 17 months old now. when he found out i was pregnant he wanted me to have an abortion and he was angry that i refused to. he now loves our son very much but due to the nature of his work he makes very little time for our son or me. for the past year we fight more and more each day and the last time we agreed on anything was when we registered our son under my boyfriends surname. what are my childs, mine and my boyfriends legal rights should we break-up?
Posted on Thu, May 5th 2011, 15:33


wat gebeur in die geval waar die meisie se ma al die besluite neem en die baba as speelbal gebruik om die pa seer te maak. waar die pa en ma besluit het op die pa se van en die ouma besluit nee dit gaan nie so werk nie en registreer die kind op haar van. waar die ouma besluit die ma en pa mag nie saam woon nie, die ma werk nie, die pa werk. die pa mag nie die kind op sy medies sit nie, die pa mag nie die kind sien nie al betaal hy onderhoud. die ma die dokter bel vir elke dingetjie. die kind nie op 'n rotiene is met sy melk nie, maar kan drink soveel as wat hy wil. mag nie skoon water drink nie, ouma se besluit. waar die ouma die broek dra en besluite namens haar dogter neem, en geen besluit van die pa word aangehoor nie. waar die pa sy kind wil grootmaak, maar die ouma dit nie wil toelaat nie. waar is die pa se reg, hy was by toe die kind gemaak is, nie die ouma nie. hy was by toe die kind gebore is. hoekom het hy nie die reg om sy kind te regestreer op sy van nie, dit is hoe dit werk. as hulle getroud was , was dit anders volgens die wet, maar dit is in die werklike lewe nie anders nie, net die feit dat hulle nie getroud is nie beteken niks. die pa is nog steeds die pa.
Posted on Wed, May 4th 2011, 07:38

Freda Powell

My grandson fathered a son soon after leaving school. Baby was supported by his 2 aunts For three years on his behalf he is now told he has no parental rights cause he never supported the baby.
Posted on Thu, Apr 7th 2011, 15:35


I recently found out I am expecting, delighted with the news I told my fiance. He told me to go have an abortion. Prior to this his mother had cancelled our hall booking for a wedding and tried to cancel the caterer that I had paid for. A few days back he has said he is accepting me and the baby to get me to come to his home. This weekend I realised that was a lie as he now has changed his mind about us. I am fed up of him and I am deciding to raise my baby on my own, however is there anyway I can make this cruel person pay for the lies that he has told me, and for the fact that he has led me on?
Posted on Mon, Apr 4th 2011, 08:23


If the father of my child(illigitimate child) refuses me to change the surname of my child(which was also my maiden surname), what should I do and what right does he have over my maiden surname. If he indoctrinates the child against the step father(who is having a father - daughter relationship) what should I do?
Posted on Tue, Mar 29th 2011, 15:58


Hi there, I need your help please. My parents got divorced when I was still a little girl by then it was just me and my little sister. My father re-married and my mother didn't and didn't change back her surname. My mother then had my little brother and he took our father's surname, which my mother was still using. Now my mother has passed away and we would like to change our little brother's surname to my mother's maiden surname. His father is hardly present and doesn't contribute anything towards him. Please advise us on how we can go about changing his surname to our mother's maiden name. Thanks
Posted on Mon, Mar 28th 2011, 17:15


My sister was living with her boyfriend and his mother and grandmother. When she fell pregnant she was kicked out of their house and his mother started rumours that my sister was sleeping around and that the child is not her sons. This was obviously not true. He then refused to accept that the child might be his and insisted on a DNA test. I must add that in the begging of her pregnancy he accepted that it was his child and even went with her for her 1st scan. He kept on trying to change my sisters mind to not sue him for maintenance and told her lies like a DNA test can only be done 6mnths after the birth of the child etc. The child is now 3mnths old and the DNA tests have been done and the results has shown that he is in fact the childs father (*big suprise*). He is now spreading stories that if the child is his then he will come and take the child from my sister and his mother has agreed to help him. What rights does he actually have considering the situation and how he treated my sister? She is now unemployed due to the fact that she had to stop working when she fell pregnant.She has messages on her phone from the father where he says that he does not want the child and is not ready to be a father. Please help! thank you
Posted on Fri, Mar 11th 2011, 14:59


Posted on Thu, Mar 10th 2011, 14:34


Hello, I would like to find out some information on behalf of my brother. He has been divorced for many years and been paying maintenance every month for his daughter who lives with her mother, but has now remarried and has not informed my brother (the biological father) that she has done so. Does he still have to pay maintenance if she has remarried? What does the law say about this? Thank you.
Posted on Sun, Mar 6th 2011, 18:22


Hi There I have an 11 month old baby girl who had open heart surgery when she was a few months old and spent the first 6 months of her life in hospital, a month + of which was in ICU after her open heart surgery. She battles to swollow so gets fed through a stomach peg and only weighs 5.72kg's and wears 0 -3 month old clothing. She is still on formula because she is unable to swollow purity at the moment. The Dr said she is only 2 - 3 months developed and has a chromosome disorder. At nearly a year old she cant even sit on her own and is very floppy. She was also born without a Thymus Gland so basically has no immunity apart from taking her to church I dont take her out much. My ex left me when I was pregnant, we were never married and did not support me emotionally or financially during my pregnancy and is now wanting joint custody. He is demanding to take her away for a whole day unsupervised but I am refusing because she does not know him because he has not been around much. The open heart surgery was a success but she still has one small hole in the heart which they could not repair due to the length of her surgery and are hoping it will close on its own. Her surgery was nearly 7 hours long. I cant afford lawyers and the Family Advocate are not very helpful. I am living in fear and what he says goes. If he goes away for the weekend then I have to stay at home for the whole of the next weekend so that he can see her both Saturday and Sunday so basically he is allowed a social life but I am not. He is welcome to come and visit her but am wanting a parenting plan but nobody seems to want to assist me. What will the lawyers look for (he can afford them) before they will let him take her away from an environment she knows. I have been told that they look at the sex of the child, her health and development but he says this is rubbish. He has only started paying maintenance now but refuses to pay for her childcare. She is unable to go to creche so my mum looks after her but he wont pay half of what I am paying my mum. She has not asked for payment, I feel it is the correct thing to do because she has put her life on hold to stay at home with Tayla Grace. With thanks Heather
Posted on Wed, Feb 23rd 2011, 21:25


Hi, I have just found out that im pregnant, but me an the father are no longer seeing eachother. I have not told him yet and im not sure if i want to tell him. I would like to know what my rights are and if i have to let him know that I'm with child. We were only dating for about two months and things did not work out. We dont see eachother or chat anymore. I'm confused because some of my family and friends are telling me that I have to tell him, and then others are saying that there is no need for him to know as he is no longer a part of my life. My sister is going through hell at the moment as her and her first borns father are no longer togeather, and he is just causing so much trouble, postponing court case after court case... And she is getting nowhere with any of it. Very frustrating and confused at the moment... and scared as this is all new to me. Being my first pregnancy... Please help me with this... Thanks.
Posted on Thu, Feb 17th 2011, 15:57

Tracy-Anne York

I have a 8year old son and was never married to his father the relationship was one that was very abusive, I am now getting married to an Australian Citizen and plan on moving, the father of my son does not contribute to my son and does not play an active role in his life... What do I need to be able to leave the country. Please help
Posted on Thu, Feb 17th 2011, 11:22


I have an 8 yr old son born out of wedlock which i love very much and he does for me,i pay maintenance for him every month.Unfortanutely threir was violence between us and in 2007 i got a suspended sentence for 2 years,i saw my son regulary on weekend after that as per agreement via our laywers and phoned him @ 2 a week, me and his mother split at the end of 2007 and i am in another relationship and she got married in 2010,During the period of 2010 in Marc i lost my job and after that we got hijacked in frint of my ex house, after that my son came to visit me and on that weekend we moved house and me and my new girlfriend had quite a bad argument,pushing and shoving and screaming at each other,my son then went and told his mother and from then she refused me to c him, even under supervision,but i still contacted him twice a week,now since christmas day i havent been able to spaek to him neither and havent been in contact with him since,what can i do as laywers are expensive,we have a contract but she doesnt honour that
Posted on Thu, Feb 10th 2011, 10:35


What happens when the mother gets married? How does this affect the maintenance? We are not married and isn't together but i'm still paying mainenance for 6 years now.
Posted on Tue, Feb 1st 2011, 11:17


I had my son in August 2009, and only found out i was pregnant at 13 weeks. I informed my ex once i had found out and have never had any word from him since. He resides in the UK and he has never contributed anything let alone asked how things were going. I was wondering what legal process i would have to go through for my fiance to adopt my son as he has been in his life since 4 weeks old.
Posted on Tue, Jan 25th 2011, 16:44


Thank you,i need to know my rights with my little one that is born out of wedlock. You guys are great!!
Posted on Tue, Jan 25th 2011, 14:43


I do not fully agree with the above statement: However, if there is no such relationship then it would make sense for the child to have the mother’s surname to avoid confusion. It’s an entirely personal decision. If you gave your child the father’s surname, then later came to regret it and wished to change the child’s surname, you need the father’s permission, or the Department of Home Affairs will refuse We gave my son his fathers surname when he was born. We then broke up and was never maried. I went to the Department of Home Affairs and due to the fact that we were not married I could change my sons surname without any permission from the father...this was in last year and as far as I know the law has not changed for that...
Posted on Tue, Jan 25th 2011, 14:41


I'm due in March, and my child's father and i will only be getting married in a Feb/March 2012. Currently we aren't living together and there's chance that we won't be living together until we're married. He is more than happy to take responsibility for our child. My question is, if he's name is on the birth certificate of our little one and our little has his surname, does my fiance still have to go to court of law to grant him full parental responsibilties or will that automatically happen when we get married or when he is registered as our child's father on the birth certificate??
Posted on Tue, Jan 25th 2011, 14:36


An ex-girlfriend fell pregnant with my child. She was on birth control and told everyone that she left her pills because ‘we’ want to fall pregnant, but failed to inform me of such. We broke up because our relationship didn’t work out, and she moved to London. She kept quiet about the pregnancy till 7 months when she broke the news. I am married now, but my ex is extremely jealous of my new wife. Since the boy’s birth I haven’t had any contact with him whatsoever. I am not denying my responsibility but would like to know what my rights are. She gave birth to the child in London.
Posted on Tue, Jan 25th 2011, 10:31


by boyfriend promise he would marry me, but split up after i found out im pregnant, because he wanted me to go for an abortion. And when i told him im not going to do that he went back to his x after he also promise he won't hurt me. Now he wants to be part of my childs life but doesn't even pay maintenance, because he didn't care about me while i was pregnant. I was the who have to pay for everything and now he suddenly decide to be father. What am i suppose to do because he was humulating me during my pregnancy.
Posted on Tue, Jan 25th 2011, 09:54


Very insightful. Thank you YP!!
Posted on Tue, Jan 25th 2011, 09:43


What happens if the father is not from sa. And does not live here?
Posted on Tue, Jan 25th 2011, 09:36

Michelle Botes

Before I fell pregnant my now ex and I spoke of marriage. While I was pregnant we bought a house together so obviously once baby was born, I gave her father's surname to avoid complication of changing it later when we got married. However, he abandoned us 1 month after her birth and had several affairs since. He made no financial or emotional contribution. After 3 years he finally decided to move out of the 'family home' into his new girlfriend's home with whom he had an affair while she was married. My concern now is that he wants unlimited access to my baby, she must keep his surname and he is not paying maintenance for her although he reluctantly agreed to pay his half of the bond until I registered in my name. His girlfriend is encouraging him and he mentioned taking my daughter away when I least expect it if I do not comply with his arrangement. Both he and his new girlfriend love to entertain at her home and their parties have been known to get drunken & rowdy to the point that police have had to shut them down on several occasions. My concern is 1) for the safety of my child if she visits them and 2) if I can move my child to another province should my job require this of me.
Posted on Mon, Jan 24th 2011, 22:53


I have 2 children with my ex fiance. we hve just split up and I would like to know, if under the new unmarried fathers act, I can stop my children having contact with his mother, my reason is that when my 1st child was born him and his mother tried to have my child adopted behind my back. she is now only being nice to me so she can see the children, as her son and i have broken up there is a lot of nastyness going on behind my back again and i do not want to subject my children to his mother slandering me when i'm not around.
Posted on Mon, Dec 13th 2010, 01:44

Jacqueline Tolken

My Ex and i were together for 10 years and we split we were not married, we have been split for almost 3 years now. he keeps on threatning me that he is going to take me to court to get custody of our 6 year old daughter, i have a stable Job and me and my new fiance have a great income together and we live in a nice house and provide for her we actully go half on her expenses, please tell me what my rights are i dont abuse my child , i dont neglect her she is my life and dont want to loose her, please can you tell me what my chances are? he owns his own company so his salary fluctuates all the time and his new girlfriend is a UK citzen and has got deported and is now back again and does not have a job! he does not pay maintance cause we agreed that we would go half on her needs, please tell me what my chances are and what my rights would be any advice?
Posted on Wed, Dec 1st 2010, 08:05


what does legislation say about a baby of under a year sleeping over at her dad.?
Posted on Tue, Nov 23rd 2010, 16:14